Restraining Order Abuse

Here is an example of restraining order abuse sent in by one of our readers by email.

I have a story of restraining order abuse to share with your forum. I’ve published a detailed account of it online as part of a serial blog examining restraining order abuses. I’ve also started an e-petition to attract lawmakers’ attention to them. The web addresses are below. The restraining order taken out against me has long since expired (March 2007), but I understand from your mission statement that you prefer your contributors to speak of their experiences in general and not specific terms. With your permission, this is what I would like to post to your Restraining Order Abuse blog (and I’m glad to make any adjustments your forum rules mandate):

I was stalked several years ago by a woman who lingered nightly for hours in the dark outside of my house, engaged me in a sexually coercive relationship for a period of months while concealing from me she was someone’s wife, then lied to police and swore out a fraudulent restraining order against me in her husband’s name to conceal her hanky-panky from him—this while my mother, who had also befriended her, was being treated for breast cancer.

This woman, a professional scientist and cancer specialist whose father-in-law is the northwest regional medical director for Arkansas Blue Cross and Blue Shield, both fabricated and falsified evidence, and will be vulnerable to prosecution for perjury until the fall of 2013. Her calculated lies to the police and courts included contrived allegations of sexual harassment and fear of assault to her, to her husband, to her friends, and even to her mother (who resided in a different part of the country). Anyone she was concerned I would talk to about her hanky-panky was alleged to be at risk of violence. The fallout from her obscene conduct and frauds has taken an immeasurable toll on me and damaged several others’ lives besides.

I’ve explored and editorialized on the politics and policies that made it possible for the woman in my narrative to do what she did in a serial blog, which I hope will serve as a resource to others, and have posted an online petition in the hope of brining lawmakers’ attention to these sorts of abuses of civil process so they can’t continue:

http://restrainingorderabuse.com

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/end-restraining-order-abuses

Please add your voice to both and bring them to the notice of others with a stake in these issues.

Restraining Order Blog is not meant to harass, directly or indirectly contact, harm, imtimidate, bring any emotional distress, stalk or cyberstalk, nor intentionally slander or damage any individual in any way. Nor is it intended to initiate any third party contact on behalf of any poster or author, or violate a current restraining order in any way. If you feel there is anything on our Restraining Order Blog that is slanderous, untrue, or illegal, please bring it to our attention. Our Restraining Order Blog Legal Staff will examine your request promptly, and any post you find offensive will be reviewed and possibly removed in a timely mannner

Tampa Man Violates Restraining Order ?

 Restraining Order Blog got this question from a reader in Tampa Florida who emailed it to us,

So my ex of 16 years had a restraining order put on me in Tampa 2 weeks ago, he did it by lying saying I came to his house in North Tampa and started physically hitting him which of course didnt happen but that's besides the point. Here is my question, we have 4 children togather and he is now violating his own Hillsborough County Restraining Order showing up at my house and I don't know what to do if there is anything I can do any legal advice would help please.

Restraining Orders in Tampa

Restraining Orders in Tampa

It takes a lot of self-control for any person not to contact the most important person in your life. Even when it is against the law many people  in Tampa do it anyway at their peril. Restraining orders  in Tampa only go one way, against you, the defendant. If the victim is calling you, keep track of the calls and save the messages, but tell them you are under the restraining order  in Tampa and hang up the phone. A lot of so-called victims of domestic violence  in Tampa will abuse the restraining order by inviting you back, get mad at you again and have you arrested again. They won’t get in any trouble for doing this to you, and you’ll go to Orient Road Jail in Tampa. Never risk arrest and inprisonment for violating the restraining order  in Tampa for any reason.

Never ignore a civil restraining order in Tampa, even if you think it was not properly served, was illegally obtained, or based on false information and outright lies. When a judge issues a temporary restraining order  in Tampa, it is illegal to disobey the order. You can be prosecuted and go to jail for ignoring or Violating a Restraining Order in Tampa,

 If you persistently ignore the court’s order by violating the temporary restraining order the judge  in Tampa may impose a permanent restraining order on you that will last at least three years. Go to the court date on the notice to appear with a good domestic violence attorney  in Tampa to represent you. The prosecution can and will use anything you say in your civil case against you in the criminal case.

You may have some property where the victim is living you want to get back. The only way is to hire an attorney or wait until you are appointed an attorney and have the attorney’s investigator contact the victim to arrange to get the defendant’s belongings back or to communicate with the victim for any reason. Restraining orders  in Tampa prohibit contacting the victim through a third party, which includes your friends, family and their friends.

If a defendant needs to get personal belongings from their house they must contact the police  in Tampa and ask them to stand by while they quickly get their essential possessions. Make sure you are clearly more than 150 yards away from the residence when you call the police. The police  in Tampa will not permit any argument about what belongs to whom and what doesn’t. It is better to abandon your belongings than to set yourself up for a misdemeanor conviction for violating a court order  in Tampa that carries the usual domestic violence penalties.

A defendant in a domestic violence case  in Tampa always has a restraining order put on them by the court making it a misdemeanor crime for them to have any direct or indirect contact with the victim. Even if the victim contacts the defendant the order remains in effect until a judge lifts it. A victim cannot lift a restraining order in Tampa, only a judge can. This means that if the victim lives there (or the restraining order incorrectly says they do) a defendant can’t go to their house for any reason even if they pay the rent or own it. Defendants can’t call. It is difficult for defendants to visit their children. Even if a defendant is innocent of any crime they can still be prosecuted for violating the restraining order itself. Most restraining order violation cases  in Tampa are easily proven.

Sometimes the district attorneys office  in Tampa will dismiss a case without filing charges. In this situation the restraining order will still be in place for several days. They can reinstate the charges for a year  in Tampa if it’s a misdemeanor, longer if it’s a felony. If a defendant makes unwanted contact with the victim after the temporary restraining order expires their activities could be reported to the police  in Tampa, and they could be charged with the crime of stalking. Voice mail messages, e-mails, letters, floral bouquets, notes on cars, visits to the victim’s workplace, can all be used in evidence in a stalking prosecution in Tampa Florida.

Domestic Violence in Tampa — The Facts

Domestic Violence in Tampa — The Facts

For additional information see Domestic Violence Against Men in Colorado

If you are charged with domestic violence in Tampa

• You are presumed guilty in Tampa until you prove your innocence and due process is nonexistent.

• Arrest is mandatory in Tampa and will be made without a warrant.

• Domestic Violence in Tampa Florida is the new Jim Crow.

If you are black in Tampa you are much more likely to be arrested, convicted, and spend a longer time in jail.

• In Domestic Violence cases in Tampa, the Prosecutors are out to win.
Your guilt or innocence is of no consequence to them.

• Prosecutors in Tampa often tack on additional charges after your arrest, especially if they can get felony
charges added. That gives them a much stronger position when trying to get a Domestic Violence plea bargain.
Tacking on additional Domestic Violence charges against you also increases the bail you must post.

• The District Attorney in Tampa
cannot
dismiss a domestic violence case or plea bargain it to anything
that does not involve domestic violence

The other party cannot get the charges against you dropped either as it is the State of Florida vs. you.
Realistically, the only way you can clear your record of a domestic violence charge in Tampa is to go through a jury trial.
The prosecutor in Tampa will attempt to bluff you about going to trial, and your defense attorney may recommend a Domestic Violence
plea bargain because he gets paid but doesn’t have to go to the time and effort of preparing for trial.
If you wisely call the prosecutor’s bluff and insist on going to a jury trial in Tampa we have heard innumerable stories
from men where the district attorney asks the judge in Tampa to dismiss the Domestic Violence case the morning the trial is to begin.
• In order to be released from jail in Tampa you will be issued a mandatory restraining order that you must sign and acknowledge. The restraining order will include:
(a) An order to vacate or stay away from the home of the victim
and to stay away from any other location where the victim is likely to be found.
Commonly this means you can’t go back to your own home or job
location even if she doesn’t live or work there, or have any claim to be on the property;
(b) An order to refrain from contact, or direct or indirect communication with the victim,
i.e., you can’t
contact any of her or your friends to obtain witnesses on your behalf;
No contact means no contact!
(c) An order prohibiting possession or control of firearms or other weapons
{a Federal felony under
18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8 and 9)} and if you have military or police training you are classed as a
“trained killer;”
(d) An order prohibiting possession or consumption of alcohol or controlled substances;
and
(e) Any other order the court deems appropriate to protect the safety of the alleged victim. For example, as a
condition of your release on bail in Tampa you may be required to wear an electronic tracking bracelet until your trial.
The mandatory restraining order only works one way.
You are restrained from contacting the other party but
they can contact you.
However, you can’t reply or speak to them when they do, or you go back to jail.
• No determination of your guilt is required before imposing such punishments.
What you should do if charged with domestic violence
• You will be given a hearing or arraignment before a magistrate or judge and formally charged.
If(?) you have been released on bail before the Domestic Violence hearing, you
must show up in court or you will lose all future rights and surrender your bail bond.
• Plead innocent to Domestic Violence and demand a jury trial!
A guilty or no contest Domestic Violence plea at this time, or failure to appear, is a
lifetime sentence regardless of anything the prosecutor may tell you about a “deferred sentence” or sealing your record (They lie all the time).
The prosecutor will do everything possible, commonly including lies, intimidation, and often mental torture to get you to plead guilty to Domestic Violence and accept a plea bargain.
A trial to a judge, or Domestic Violence bench trial is simply a long, slow way of pleading guilty.
Don’t make any statement at the hearing other than
“Not guilty” and a demand  a jury trial.
• Get a Domestic Violence defense attorney!
If ever in your life you need a criminal defense lawyer experienced in Domestic Violence, now is the time.
If you have not been able to obtain an attorney while
in jail, and the court does not, or will not, assign a public defender, you must obtain your own.
• With luck and a competent criminal defense attorney in Tampa you may be able to have some terms of
the automatic restraining order against you lifted or modified at the hearing, e.g., the no
alcohol provision, or no contact with your children order, depending on circumstances.
• The court may require a bond or release you on your own recognizance. If you previously
posted a bond, and you are released on your own recognizance, ask to have the bond lifted.

• The lifetime cost of pleading guilty to domestic violence in Tampa is infinite and you cannot appeal.
Demand a jury trial!
Unless your guilt is clear (not likely in a
“he said/she said”
case), any criminal defense attorney in Tampa who suggests you accept a plea bargain or deferred sentence should be dismissed instantly as incompetent.
Corrupt lawyers in Tampa Florida love plea bargains because they get the same fees but don’t have to go to the labor of preparing for trial.

What happens if you are convicted, plead guilty, plea bargain, or accept a deferred sentence on a Domestic Violence charge in Tampa
• A conviction usually means the loss of your job. A plea bargain is a conviction!
If you accept a plea bargain you surrender all rights to an appeal.
Under DoD Directive 5220.6 a Domestic Violence conviction in Tampa will deny you a security clearance.
You will also lose your professional license(s) and any financial bond. Thus, doctors, teachers, and others who require professional licenses or financial bonds cannot continue to practice their trade or profession.
• The loss of your Second Amendment rights is for life.
A conviction will mean the certain loss of your job if you work in a profession, e.g., police, fire, military,
construction, trucking, mining, etc. in Tampa that requires use of firearms, explosives, or other dangerous agents.
It is a violation of Federal law, 18 USC § 922(g)(8 and 9), to purchase, acquire, or be in possession of
firearms, ammunition, or other dangerous weapons, with a mandatory minimum of 5 years in prison if convicted.
• You cannot serve in the military and you may lose any military pension you have.
If you are currently in the military you will be involuntarily discharged or not allowed to reenlist.
The Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act (PL 97-252, 1982)
“allows”
state divorce courts to
“divide”
as marital property any
“pension”
earned during the concomitant marriage/service period, regardless of
fault, need, or independent wealth. It also penalizes military men for domestic violence inflicted on civilian
spouse/dependents by revoking his/her retirement benefits and providing them to his/her victims.
• On a first offense for misdemeanor assault the typical sentence is two years probation; second
offense up to six months in county jail plus probation; third Domestic Violence offense is a felony with 6 to
18 months or more in prison. Felony assaults have longer sentences and usually result in at
least 6 months in jail though several years in prison are more likely with a felony conviction.
• Commonly there will be a fine as well as court costs.
• You will be required to take, and pay for Domestic Violence treatment in Tampa for an indeterminate period.
Psychiatric care, anger management in Tampa, substance abuse treatment, etc., may be imposed as well.
The mandated DV and other court-ordered counseling will cost you $1,000-$5,000 or more on top of other
fines and fees, and require several hours every week for at least six months. Attendance
is
mandatory.
• The mandatory restraining order in Tampa remains in effect until your sentence is completed. If you
violate the restraining order you will almost certainly go to jail in Tampa for 3 to 6 months.
Your conviction shows on
www.HCSO.com
. As employers in Tampa check that, getting a new job will be difficult.
• Most marriages end in divorce in these Domestic Violence cases.
Custody of any children will pass to the mother if you are convicted
and she will be awarded child support
and possibly maintenance (alimony). Because of these advantages many women use Domestic Violence charges to gain custody,
hide adultery, or prevent men from getting DNA paternity tests from her children.
Fathers are commonly only able to see the children in Tampa during supervised visitation periods for at least one to two
years after a Domestic Violence conviction in Tampa and will pay from $40 to $60 per hour of supervised visitation.
Even without children she will likely get the house, the car, bank accounts, and anything else she wants.
• You may never be eligible for welfare or public housing in Tampa, or anywhere else.
Renting or buying a house will be difficult or impossible under current law.
• You will be unable to obtain a student loan and may lose military benefits.
• You probably cannot ever hold a public office or get a government job with a Domestic Violence conviction.
• You cannot get a hunting license in Florida.
• Your voting rights may be lost.
• If you are not a United States citizen you will be deported and cannot reenter the country.
The law requiring deportation also applies to a wide range of crimes ranging from manslaughter to
misdemeanor drunken driving, as well as domestic violence in Tampa.

False Statements On A Protective Order

Here are some protective order  questions from a reader.

Hello,

        My ex wife obtained a protective order against me.She gave falsified statements to obtain it.I can prove this with physical evidence.She has none.She was granted an ex-parte P.O. based on these statements and then a one year p.o. a short time after the hearing after she had me jailed. As it states in your blog,I had no chance to defend myself while incarcerated.Can I still submit a motion to show just cause for criminal contempt of court?

Thank you for your time

Restraining Order Violation - Third Party Contact

 Restraining Order Blog gets a number of questions from readers. Here is a restraining order violation question we just received. Courts have held that third party contact due to an official proceeding is not a violation of a restraining order. How could it be ? 

Hello, My brother and I have a restraining order from his x wife. My brother filed a motion with the court along with a 30 page document pretaining to his personal beliefs and his oppinion of the courts it was adressing the courts not her!..natrurally, the x wife recieved a copy from the courts because she is involved wit the case i.e child support. Anyway, she called the police after reading it. and he was aressted. we are now going to court for violation of restraining order third party contact. this has been ongoing for 8 years, the x wife has lied, uses the restraining order for when it is convinent for her. Mind you the restraing order was no way shape or form have to de with ANY type of violence she made up all kinds of things that were not true, and they hand out restraining orders like candy. She has used the system for vengence against my brother.. Do you think the courts should be considered third party?


Thank you

Restraining Order Violation Questions

 Restraining Order Violation ?

Our Blog gets a lot of restraining order questions from our readers. Here is a person who wants to know IF he intentionally violated a restraining order. I will give my opinion in a comment below the blog post. I am not a criminal defense attorney, and can only give my opinion, based on my experience with restraining orders. 

My ex and I broke up aug 2009. Was not the best break up but really needed to happen. At the end of the relationship I was unable to get all of my things. She would not let me and even got a lawyer involved. Nothing productive ever ended up happening. From time to time I would call her nothing harrissing but just a phone call maybe once a month.

I then bought my first home april 2010. Shortly after that I went to her house knowing that she still had many of my things. I first called the police dept to see if there was any orders in place there was not. I got to her house she would not answer the door. She talked through the door and said she was gonna call the cops. I said that I the best thing to do. The cops showed up and helped me get my things out. I thought all went well.

A month later she filed for a restraining order it was then granted. Fast forward to aug 2010 my new girl friend and I went to a bar to see some friends and her sister who was home for the week from Florida. I live in new Hampshire. My new girl friend and I arrived ordered a drink a piece and started to say hi to everyone. There were about 15 friends there. I took a Couple of sips then went outside for a cigeratte with some friends. After being out there for 5 min a friend of mine said your ex just walked out behind you. I was really nervious at this point.  I put out my cigeratte them went is to retrieve my tab so I could leave. The server came over almost the same time I got back in. She said your ex is here and was asking a bowncer to throw you out because of the order. She then said we can not throw you out. I said I am leaving now anyway I don't need any of this drama. I gave her my card did not wait to sign and attempted to leave out the back door. Apperantly she had already called the cops. The cops came and charged me with violating the order. Already went to a bench trial was found guilty now I have to wait for my jury trial.

Do regular people feel I violated the order?

Granting Restraining Orders To Mentally Ill People

Restraining Orders  Are far too easy to get here in Hillsborough County Florida! Judge Christine Vogel in Plant City granted a restraining order my mentally Ill ex girlfriend Eileen Riordan asked for. I attempted to defend myself against my ex girlfriends irrational fears, but Judge Vogel didn't even listen to me. Here, in my ex girlfriends own words and handwriting is a description of her mental conditions, and all the medications she is, and has been on.

Eileen Riordan Mental Illness Admission She Wrote

Eileen Riordan Mental Illness Admission She Wrote

I told Hillsborough County Judge Christine Vogel that Eileen Riordan cuts herself when stressed, I even begged her to order Eileen Riordan to show the razor blade scars from previous attempts to end her life, but she did not even listen to my request, much less grant it. I even  told her that Eileen Riordan tried to pull this restraining order shit on me before, and it was thrown out by another Hillsborough County Judge, but still Plant City Florida Judge Christine Vogel did not listen! I did a Google Search for Judge Christine Vogel Rating as a Judge. I was not surprised she does not have a good rating. A restraining order puts a lot of power in the hands of the person who has one in place against you. All they need is to convince a close friend or new boyfriend they are scared of you, get them to lie and say they saw you violate the order of protection, and off to jail you go. Just as we as a society try not to issue Gun Permits to those with Mental Problems, is it right to give a mentally unbalanced person this amount of power over someone ? As long as we continue to elect Judges that rubber stamp almost every restraining order that comes in front of them, with out considering any mental  illness the petitioner might have, abuse of restraining orders will continue to be common.

I am not talking about simple depression either, and it is no shame to have a chemical imbalance that can sometimes be corrected by medication.  In fact, there is no shame in having a mental illness either. But when the mental illness effects another persons freedom as it can in a restraining order case, the Judge needs to take the mental illness into account. My ex girlfriend Eileen Riordan suffers from severe, uncontrollable anxiety, by her own admission. Severe Anxiety can make a person believe 'something bad  is going to happen', so they call the Police for every little disagreement, normal to any relationship.  Armed with plenty of Police Reports that were not really necessary, they march into the court system and are granted restraining orders by Judges like Christine Vogel of Hillsborough County Florida. My ex girlfriend is a nurse, though she is on permanent Social Security Disability for Chronic and Disabling Mental Conditions. She was able to secure a job while on full Social Security Disability for mental impairment at the Hillsborough County Orient Road Jail !
Can you believe that ?
She put right in her restraining order request that she was a Nurse at Hillsborough County Jail. Perhaps that's what caused Judge Vogel not to pay any attention when I tried in vain to get her to look at the scars on Eileen Riordan's arms from her cutting episodes ? You would think the Tampa Psychiatrist who disabled her would have contacted the Florida Board Of Nursing, to be sure her Nursing License was not active ?
This never happened, and somehow Eileen Riordan managed to keep an active Florida Nursing License.
Eileen Riordan and I were together when she worked as a Nurse at the Jail. She had a lot of problems handling this nursing job, and even wrote me an email saying she was going to end her life, if she failed at this job!

Eileen Riordan's Suicide Threat Email 

Eileen scared me so much with this Email and other suicide indicators, that I sent the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office to check on her.

I sent HCSO Deputies to make sure Eileen Riordan did not harm herself

Restraining Orders and PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can sometimes contribute to restraining orders when a normal disagreement or argument in a relationship causes the person with PTSD to flashback to the original trauma. Here are my experiences with a person I got into a relationship with who has PTSD.
Her and I met, and I swear my life changed the minute I met her. I think we fell in Love with each other nearly instantly. I know I did. Everything was fine between us, until she would break plans we had, and I would scream and yell at her. This caused her to avoid me, causing me to scream and yell even more. I did  not understand PTSD, and thought she was deliberately avoiding me to piss me off!  I called her some truly awful names in the beginning of our relationship to "punish" her for what I thought was her deliberate avoidance of me. I did not understand PTSD, nor did I have the anger management skills I later acquired. ( I am still working on those). Now that I understand PTSD much better, I realize my yelling scared the heck out of her, causing her to get restraining orders against me. Though in my mind these restraining orders were not needed, since no actual domestic violence really happened, I realize now in her mind they were needed, as I have learned to understand PTSD better. My advice to our readers is as follows. IF you have a propensity to scream and yell when things do not go your way, do not get into a relationship with a person suffering from PTSD. What may seem like a harmless argument may send them to call 911 on you, and a visit from the police and a restraining order will be the likely outcome. If your relationship partner has PTSD, and you wish to continue in the relationship, you must get a  handle on your anger. While it is not good to scream and yell at anyone, it is truly devastating to a person suffering from PTSD. Imagine for a minute the most frightening thing that ever happened to you in your lifetime ? Then imagine being constantly reminded of it by your partner every time they scream and yell at you! This is what life is like for a person afflicted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because of my recent heart attack, I have had to try and cut out all stress in my life. Anger can kill me, so I have had to forgive some people I was angry at. I was angry at my ex girlfriend for obtaining several restraining orders against me that gave me a criminal record, and hurt my business. Now that I understand PTSD much better, it was a lot easier for me to forgive her.
Here is an article about PTSD I found on the Internet.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.

People with PTSD may startle easily, become emotionally numb (especially in relation to people with whom they used to be close), lose interest in things they used to enjoy, have trouble feeling affectionate, be irritable, become more aggressive, or even become violent. They avoid situations that remind them of the original incident, and anniversaries of the incident are often very difficult.

Most people with PTSD repeatedly relive the trauma in their thoughts during the day and in nightmares when they sleep. These are called flashbacks. Flashbacks may consist of images, sounds, smells, or feelings, and are often triggered by ordinary occurrences, such as a door slamming or a car backfiring on the street. Even a normal argument in a relationship can trigger a flashback. A person having a flashback may lose touch with reality and believe that the traumatic incident is happening all over again.


Not every traumatized person develops full-blown or even minor PTSD. Symptoms usually begin within 3 months of the incident but occasionally emerge years afterward. They must last more than a month to be considered PTSD. The course of the illness varies. Some people recover within 6 months, while others have symptoms that last much longer. In some people, the condition becomes chronic.

PTSD affects about 7.7 million American adults, but it can occur at any age, including childhood.  Women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and there is some evidence that susceptibility to the disorder may run in families.  PTSD is often accompanied by depression, substance abuse, or one or more of the other anxiety disorders.

^{There is some new research being done on treating PTSD at Emory University that just came out a few days ago!  Here is a video all about it.} 

^{Here is some more information on this Emory University study.}

Thursday, February 24, 2011

PACAP and PTSD

A team of researchers from Emory University and the University of Vermont have found a link between a hormone released during times of stress and the development of post-traumatic stress in women. The researchers studied 64 people who were, in turn, taking part in a larger research project, the Grady Trauma Project which is a study of 1,200 low-income people living in Atlanta who have high levels of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The 64 participants completed questionnaires on their life histories and provided saliva and blood samples to be analyzed. The study found that women with high levels of a hormone called pituitary adenylate cyclase activating polypeptide (PACAP) had PTSD symptoms five times higher than women with lower-than-average levels. PACAP acts throughout the body and brain affecting central-nervous-system activity, metabolism, blood pressure, pain sensitivity and immune function.

Hopefully, this research will lead to PACAP Inhibitors, and maybe even lead to an answer for people also suffering from chronic pain, as well as irritable bowel syndrome.  Here is an excerpt from the University of Vermont paper where a PACAP Inhibitor was used to combat Anxiety.

But what if PACAP is cut off? In one experiment, May and his colleagues were able to block the peptide by fifty percent using another peptide, a so-called antagonist, that gummed up the PACAP receptors in the rats' bed nuclei. As they describe in a review article in the Journal of Molecular Neuroscience, this put a major damper on the rats' anxiety behaviors during a seven-day stress test.

Problem is, this PACAP antagonist had to be mainlined into their brains. "Peptides are not small molecules," says May, "as a general rule they don't cross the blood-brain barrier very well and are quickly broken down in the bloodstream." (The blood-brain barrier is the body's nifty trick of separating circulating blood from cerebrospinal fluid in the central nervous system. It helps protect the brain from infection and toxins, but it can be a devil for drug development.)

So May began to wonder if something else might block PACAP.

"Then Victor came across a paper where a company described a small molecule antagonist that blocked PACAP," says Hammack, "A small molecule that won't break down orally and will get across the blood-brain barrier." The company was working in another area entirely, looking for ways to stimulate PACAP receptors, but May saw potential in their failure.

So he picked up the phone again, this time to chemistry professor Matthias Brewer. "He approached me to see if I could make that kind of molecule," says Brewer, "which I could." Indeed Brewer and his students were able to make some dozen variants of this molecule to test. He then delivered the compounds to May to make sure they exhibited the same PACAP knockout that the other paper had described -- and "to see which one would do the best job binding to the receptor," says Brewer.

The molecular testing proved positive in May's lab -- so now it's back to the rats in the psychology department. "Can we mimic the things I see in my culture dish in a real animal?" says May. "If yes," he says, and if "everything falls into place, we might be in touch with a pharmaceutical company."

And, yes, working with UVM's Office of Technology Transfer, May and his colleagues have taken out two provisional patents on their anti-anxiety work -- just in case you were worried.
More information: Read more about the contributions of students, including Spencer Scholz '11, to this project in the original article, which appears in the fall 2010 issue of Vermont Quarterly magazine. The full issue may be viewed online at alumni.uvm.edu/vq
Provided by University of Vermont

When we are in fear, we experience a flight or fight response, and our adrenal glands are triggered. This sudden release of adrenaline can also manifest itself by the body's sudden emptying of the bowels. Some call this being 'scared shitless'. I very well remember my ex  girlfriend doing fine, then getting a phone call from someone that stressed her out, and having to blow. Her PTSD was unpredictable, and one never knew what kind of stress would send her into a flashback, or to the toilet, IF she had time to find one. No one should have to live their life this way, and the original trauma was not her fault. I hope this new research proves to be successful, and a cure for PTSD is on the horizon.
I have also seen where PTSD and it's adrenaline release is attempted to be controlled in current drug studies using some selective Beta Blockers. My ex girlfriend is forced to take Xanax to combat the anxiety from her PTSD. I sure hope this research leads to a cure for PTSD, and other anxiety disorders. I am quite sure both PTSD and severe Anxiety lead to Restraining Orders, as the flashbacks to the original trauma and uncontrolled Anxiety lead to needless Police Intervention in some relationships.

Coronary Artery Disease And Domestic Violence ?

Since my recent Heart Attack, I am amazed at how GOOD I feel! To say I feel like a new person is a pretty accurate description. I had 95 percent artery blockage that has been surgically repaired with a stent that is drug coated. My Cardiologist called me yesterday, and we talked. He asked me if I had more energy, and was less Irritable. I asked him WTF Irritability has to do with my Heart and my Arteries ? He answered "everything"!  He explained that clogged arteries make us tired all the time, and this causes extreme irritability. I noticed myself greatly "slowing down" about 7 years ago. I used to basically live in the Gym, plus work 10 hour days cleaning roofs in the hot Sun. I thought I was just getting older. I was always so tired, yet I forced myself through many days with coffee. I caught myself never wanting to go anywhere or do anything, but stay at home in my room on my computer. I was really too tired to do much else. I even remember going to a concert I had tickets for with my ex girlfriend that I really wanted to see. We drove to the concert, and it started raining. I was  sooo tired I tried to use the rain as an excuse to just go home and sleep!  She wanted to stay, and I wound up slipping in the Mud from all the rain, and messing up my wrist!  What a difference getting my Artery  unclogged has made so far!  I went to a Picnic today, and my friends tell me I look great, and my color has returned! I wondered how a clogged Artery could have so much effect on my attitude and personality, so I Googled this article, and found out my Cardiologist is right.

Update 2/27/2011 - 12.41 am - I am just back from Brandon Hospital ER. The Stent was put inside me through the Femoral Artery in my Thigh. I noticed the whole groin/thigh area is black and blue because it was bleeding internally. They only kept me in the ER for a few hours, and fixed the internal bleeding. I am glad now I did not fall asleep. I could have bled to death, especially on all these blood thinners.

Update 3-2-11 - I was back in Brandon Hospital again, and released. I started feeling dizzy, lightheaded , and short of breath, so I asked my friend to drive me to the hospital emergency room. They did an EKG and Echo Cardiogram, and determined that a possible blood clot may have formed. They gave me some I/V medicine, and released me. Blood Clots are a well known cause of instant death in Cardiac Stent patients. Especially ones like me with a Drug Coated Stent inside of them. This is why the blood thinners I must take are so very important. I feel fine, but I am also aware that a Blood Clot can kill me suddenly. It kind of makes you re evaluate your life, if you know what I mean ?

J Behav Med. 1992 Jun;15(3):273-84.

Anger and impatience/irritability in patients of low socioeconomic status with acute coronary heart disease.

Mendes de Leon CF.

Department of Epidemiology and Public Health, Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Connecticut 06510.

Abstract

This case-control study examines the relationship between anger and impatience/irritability and acute coronary heart disease (CHD) in middle-aged men of low socioeconomic status (SES). Subjects included patients with myocardial infarction (MI) (N = 31) or unstable angina (AP) (N = 26), who were compared with hospital controls (N = 26). In separate multivariate analyses for each anger scale, MI was associated with Anger-Out and Impatience/Irritability, particularly in the subgroup of patients who did not have a previous MI. The same factors were associated with AP, but only when this acute ischemic event was not preceded by a MI. No relationship was found between Trait-Anger and Anger-In and either acute ischemic outcome. The results indicate that particularly overt behavioral expression of anger is related to CHD in lower SES patients and that there is similarity in the behavioral factors associated with acute CHD between low- and high-SES men.

PMID: 1625339 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

Domestic Violence And Abusive Personalities

You WILL do as I say!  I was recently thinking about a 'special friend' of mine, who is trapped in a Marriage with an abusive  and controlling person she does not really Love. This  'special friend' of mine is a very sweet girl, but she is such a sweet person and a people pleaser, she failed to communicate HER needs or anger to her last boyfriend, who I also know very well!  She would be angry with her last boyfriend, and tell all her friends and family about it. Neglecting to tell her friends or family any GOOD things about her past boyfriend, or how much she really Loved him, they advised her to leave him, or face expulsion from the family. Desperate to be 'accepted' by her family and friends, and trapped because she has said so many bad things about him, she met the Man she is currently married to. Like many Abusive relationships, this one started out quickly. He seemed 'charming' and genuinely 'interested' in her.  Her family welcomed her new boyfriend with open arms, desperate to 'get her away' from her past  'Bad' relationship.  Despite warnings and proof about his violent, abusive past, she rationalized  that it was a 'long time ago', and decided to ignore things. In fact, I was with this 'special friend' when her husband called 10 times in a 15 minute period because he was so 'worried about her'.  As we shall see later on in this article, that was simply an  excuse to 'hide' his controlling behavior!  LOL, I am tracking your every move with a Keylogger! God Help You If You Call Or Talk With Anyone I Said You Couldn't Talk To             She has told people he spies on her computer with Hidden Keylogger Spy Programs, checks her incoming and outgoing cell phone calls, text messages, and emails, and even wants her not to talk with close friends she has had long before they ever met.  I truly feel sorry for my 'special friend' because she truly is a trapped animal.  She has alienated her ex boyfriend, the one she really loves, by double crossing him recently. It is highly doubtful he will ever trust her again. And besides, she has said so MUCH bad shit about him to her friends and family w/o ever telling anyone what she did to cause it, there is no going back.  My 'special friend' is a sweet girl, but she is on disability, unable to support herself. So now she finds herself depressed, and in an abusive, super controlling Marriage with a Man she is not really in Love with, who freaking Spies on her.  To make matters worse, she is terrified to contact her ex boyfriend, (the one she really loves)  scared to death he will tell her husband to 'get  back' at her for her recent escapades. As I said, I 'know' her ex boyfriend well, very well!  The 2 of them recently got back together, w/o her current husbands knowledge! They had a lot of legal problems in the past, and it caused a lot of ongoing legal problems for him, plus it greatly effected his business!  Her ex boyfriend was very upset, but he also went to a lot of therapy and completed anger management. Instead of reading her the riot act, he created a  Blog, where he could WRITE about, not ACT on, his hurt feelings.  Remember, her ex boyfriends business was greatly compromised by what she did to him? In fact, MOST of the Blog he wrote was written right after he got out of Jail, when he was very pissed off.  In fact, when the 2 of them recently got back together, he even TOLD her about the Blog! No matter, she found the Blog, and freaked out w/o even talking to him about it.  As I said, I know both of the people, and I see a serious communications problem here, and little more.  It really is a tragic story for 2 people who really Love each other. One now has health problems, and one is trapped in a controlling marriage with someone she don't even Love.  I found this article about how to spot and identify a controlling relationship for our readers. See if any of this fits the relationship YOU are in ?    Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality It is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become involved with being abusive. Below are a list of behaviours and traits which are common in abusive personalities. These are commonly known as Warning Signs. While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things). I am only spying on you for your own good! Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.

Jealousy God Help You If You Call Or Talk With Anyone I Said You Couldn't Talk To! At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage, monitor your cell phone, or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. Controlling Behaviour Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. (calling 10 times to say they were 'worried' about you) Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry, upset, or 'fake concern' if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not. Quick Emotional Involvement Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself sexually to him/her. Unrealistic Expectations The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfil all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation. Isolation Why did I ever marry this man ? The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction by telling you WHO you can talk to. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications. Blame-shifting for Problems Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to. Blame-shifting for Feelings The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behaviour or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression. Hypersensitivity Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.). 'Playful' use of Force in Sex He/she may pressure you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent. Rigid Gender Roles Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion. Verbal Abuse In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family. For more information on verbal abuse, see Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jeckyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity. Drink or Substance Abuse While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?) History of Battering or Sexual Violence Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends. Negative Attitude toward Women Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect. Threatening Violence LOL, I am tracking your every move with a Keylogger! This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behaviour by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you". Breaking or Striking Objects The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalising you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behaviour on to you, but is actually used to terrorise you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them. Any Force during an Argument An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility. If you are having difficulty viewing the video, it can be found at the following link on YouTube. The video was created by Mandy Kloppers, a psychiatrist who also created the text-tonic site which offers counselling via text and skype.

Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships and Restraining Orders

Many people in bad relationships that turn into domestic violence situations with restraining orders are unaware they are in relationships with people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. And many people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder are equally unaware they have it at all. Unaware of their mental condition, they go through life idolizing then devaluing those close to them, always in the victims role. Relationships with a Borderline start out quickly and intensely, and can be quite addictive. In the Idolizing phase of the relationship, you will think you have finally met your "soul mate". Little clues may begin to surface as they bad mouth past relationships, even their best friends and family to you, but by then you may find yourself so addicted to them you will think "this will never happen to me".  This vacillation  between "Good" and "Bad" is called Borderline Splitting. Unlike a more normal person, the person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder sees things in Black and White, with no shades of Grey.

 Thus, a person in a relationship with a Borderline  is either all good, or all bad. 

Unfortunately, many people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder are seldom told what is really  wrong with them by  Mental Health Professionals.  Most Insurance Plans will not pay for Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment because it is so difficult to treat, and the success rate for Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment is very low.

Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships can often lead to domestic violence as the partner of the Borderline struggles to understand what it happening. 

 Once a person with Borderline Personality Disorder splits, and you become "Bad" in their eyes, they will do anything and everything to get rid of you, including calling the police, and/or obtaining restraining orders.  I found the article below while surfing the Internet.

Restraining Orders and Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted on January 7, 2010 by DenBob

Some use them like candy. They get restraining orders on their partners regularly because of their black and white thinking. Many of the more advanced borderline personality disordered will have a number of restraining orders on others and themselves.


Why Restraining Orders?
Borderlines have such black and white thinking that you are either good or bad in their minds — you are either evil and out to do them wrong, or you are their savior. Ironically, these thoughts about a single person could almost co-exist inside a person.
Once the BPD splits and views you as all bad in the moment, they will do everything that they can to get you out of their life. Remember that borderline personality is a chronic feeling of emptiness, so getting you out of their life also becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
One time, I asked the BPD that I was involved with, “what happens if I actually leave when you have one of these episodes?”
She responded with, “I always thought that’s what I deserve, to be alone.”
You can’t have a normal, fully functional relationship with someone who thinks that they deserve to be alone. Given a borderline’s instability and their self-loathing, this could come out in a number of harmful ways.
A true borderline continually plays the victim role. They have to be the victim of someone, something, constantly. As the partner of a borderline, they will be the victim of you.
Protect Yourself
If you are (or were) in a relationship with a borderline, you need to be aware of the restraining order trap and steer clear of it. The problem with a borderline relationship is that things can get so bad so quickly, and you don’t know when it is going to happen, that you can find yourself in a terrible situation with very little notice.

Watch for the following warning signs when dealing with a borderline:

• Threatening to contact the police: Many times these are false claims that are again trying to play the victim. However, they could be real, and I’d recommend staying away from anyone who wants to call the police. I know, you can usually calm them down. It’s not your job, and you need to maintain your self dignity. Leave any situation where the borderline is threatening to call the police.
• Physical violence: When an extreme fight breaks out, the borderline may hit, kick or scratch at you. At this point, your body’s fight or flight responses take over as adrenaline rushes through your veins. DO NOT FIGHT. WALK AWAY. I can’t stress this enough. Even if the borderline hit you square in the face, once you throw a punch, you may be defending yourself to the police or a judge. Walk away. You don’t want to be with someone who is physically violent with you.
• Beginning to play the victim role, of you: Follow me here. Once the borderline starts to become the victim of you and your actions, your world will be turmoil. I’m taking a leap here as I personally stayed involved with the borderline as she tried to be the victim of me over and over again, but maybe you’ll be smarter than me. Believe me, in the long run, it’s better. You don’t want to be with someone that views you so poorly, even if they also idealize you. In the end, they don’t treat you well, and you can find someone that treats you better.

What To Do If Someone Has Filed A Restraining Order Against You
First, get an attorney to defend you. Get the best attorney that you can afford as they will provide you with sound legal advice. I’m not an attorney and don’t play one on TV, so I don’t want to overstep my advice here.

Defend yourself to the fullest extent that you can. Be sure to have no contact with the borderline if at all possible. If children are involved, of course, you’ll need to work through this.
You don’t want to be with someone who is threatening to call the police on you, filing restraining orders, being physically violent or treating you like you’re a terrible person that’s out to victimize them. You can find people that will treat you well — I promise.
If you feel you must stay in a relationship with someone who treats you so poorly, be sure to have boundaries before things ever escalate. Know when and what will make you walk away from a particular situation, and try to stick to those boundaries.

IF you are just coming out of a failed relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, my personal advice is to try not to harbor any feelings of anger or resentment.  Being angry with someone is much like pissing in your own pants. The person who feels it the most will usually be you. Just as we would not be angry with a dyslexic child who can't read fluently, why be angry with a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder ? It is not their fault! My advice is to forgive them  and move on, for your own health and sanity.