Letter From A Reader

I met my boyfriend in July of 2010....  Innocent and simple.  He was separated and living in his own place.  From day one the ex despised me.  I'm a wee bit younger and thinner than her and I think that set a tone for her.  I come from a big family and have 14 nieces and nephews so needless to say I have experience with kids :) Which tells you how full of love and compassion I am with children.  She has demeaned me, minimized me and put me down from the get go!  I didn't have a chance with the kids from "hello" :(  !!!! One night under complete anger and rage that boiled to the point I couldn't take anymore I stepped out of line.   Joe (my boyfriend) and I went for dinner and a few beers and the chatter set me off!  Clamor of abusive kid stories regarding her telling the oldest (who's a girl) she's fat or slapping her in the face, yelling at the middle aged son and telling him to "fuck off" or even worse dropping him at the local pool joint to meet a friend and giving him 4 quarters like we are living in the 60's!!!!  I lost my cool.... She came to pick the kids up and I waited outside just to make a hooplah!  I knew it was wrong but, I was so dead set on raging on her (verbally) I didn't care.  I had called my brother over to just be outside with me because I figured with him there I wouldn't lose my cool. OUT THE WINDOW that went because the moment I saw her I just was hateful.  I called her "fatso" (which is what Joe and I call her) She jumped out of the car and ran and stood in front f me, danced around and asked my brother if she was sexy and or fat, lol....  I laughed out loud literally and said that's my brother.  She called me a dumb bitch and without a flinch I bitch slapped her so hard I saw red :(!!!!!!!  Long story short crazy lady called the cops.  Shame there were no witnesses... ;) wink.  Filed a restraining order against me stating that we had previous physical encounters that never took place!  Since then the kids have been forbidden to come over according to her.  Were in the middle of an ugly battle to have them in our life.  I'm no fool, not naive in any way.  I know that the life we provide is the best for the kids but the ex is president of the lying committee and I can't compete with that :(  We have home cooked meals and clean clothes.  She is queen of fast food and never running a load.  They literally bring their clothes over in a supermarket bag :( :( :( !!!!!!!  I'm at a loss here!  He went to court for custody and the court appointed the kids an attorney to speak for them but, its unfair because she has manipulated and lied her way through all of this and set the stage for me being the biggest devil of all :(  I don't know what to do.  Joe is depressed and sad he will lose his kids!  KIDS I WANT HERE IN OUR LIFE! I don't know what to do, where to turn.....  help? :( Yours truly, Bruised girl :(