Since my recent Heart Attack, I am amazed at how GOOD I feel! To say I feel like a new person is a pretty accurate description. I had 95 percent artery blockage that has been surgically repaired with a stent that is drug coated. My Cardiologist called me yesterday, and we talked. He asked me if I had more energy, and was less Irritable. I asked him WTF Irritability has to do with my Heart and my Arteries ? He answered "everything"! He explained that clogged arteries make us tired all the time, and this causes extreme irritability. I noticed myself greatly "slowing down" about 7 years ago. I used to basically live in the Gym, plus work 10 hour days cleaning roofs in the hot Sun. I thought I was just getting older. I was always so tired, yet I forced myself through many days with coffee. I caught myself never wanting to go anywhere or do anything, but stay at home in my room on my computer. I was really too tired to do much else. I even remember going to a concert I had tickets for with my ex girlfriend that I really wanted to see. We drove to the concert, and it started raining. I was sooo tired I tried to use the rain as an excuse to just go home and sleep! She wanted to stay, and I wound up slipping in the Mud from all the rain, and messing up my wrist! What a difference getting my Artery unclogged has made so far! I went to a Picnic today, and my friends tell me I look great, and my color has returned! I wondered how a clogged Artery could have so much effect on my attitude and personality, so I Googled this article, and found out my Cardiologist is right.
Update 2/27/2011 - 12.41 am - I am just back from Brandon Hospital ER. The Stent was put inside me through the Femoral Artery in my Thigh. I noticed the whole groin/thigh area is black and blue because it was bleeding internally. They only kept me in the ER for a few hours, and fixed the internal bleeding. I am glad now I did not fall asleep. I could have bled to death, especially on all these blood thinners.
Update 3-2-11 - I was back in Brandon Hospital again, and released. I started feeling dizzy, lightheaded , and short of breath, so I asked my friend to drive me to the hospital emergency room. They did an EKG and Echo Cardiogram, and determined that a possible blood clot may have formed. They gave me some I/V medicine, and released me. Blood Clots are a well known cause of instant death in Cardiac Stent patients. Especially ones like me with a Drug Coated Stent inside of them. This is why the blood thinners I must take are so very important. I feel fine, but I am also aware that a Blood Clot can kill me suddenly. It kind of makes you re evaluate your life, if you know what I mean ?
Department of Epidemiology and Public Health, Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Connecticut 06510.
Abstract
This case-control study examines the relationship between anger and impatience/irritability and acute coronary heart disease (CHD) in middle-aged men of low socioeconomic status (SES). Subjects included patients with myocardial infarction (MI) (N = 31) or unstable angina (AP) (N = 26), who were compared with hospital controls (N = 26). In separate multivariate analyses for each anger scale, MI was associated with Anger-Out and Impatience/Irritability, particularly in the subgroup of patients who did not have a previous MI. The same factors were associated with AP, but only when this acute ischemic event was not preceded by a MI. No relationship was found between Trait-Anger and Anger-In and either acute ischemic outcome. The results indicate that particularly overt behavioral expression of anger is related to CHD in lower SES patients and that there is similarity in the behavioral factors associated with acute CHD between low- and high-SES men.
I was recently thinking about a 'special friend' of mine, who is trapped in a Marriage with an abusive and controlling person she does not really Love. This 'special friend' of mine is a very sweet girl, but she is such a sweet person and a people pleaser, she failed to communicate HER needs or anger to her last boyfriend, who I also know very well!
She would be angry with her last boyfriend, and tell all her friends and family about it. Neglecting to tell her friends or family any GOOD things about her past boyfriend, or how much she really Loved him, they advised her to leave him, or face expulsion from the family. Desperate to be 'accepted' by her family and friends, and trapped because she has said so many bad things about him, she met the Man she is currently married to.
Like many Abusive relationships, this one started out quickly. He seemed 'charming' and genuinely 'interested' in her. Her family welcomed her new boyfriend with open arms, desperate to 'get her away' from her past 'Bad' relationship. Despite warnings and proof about his violent, abusive past, she rationalized that it was a 'long time ago', and decided to ignore things.
In fact, I was with this 'special friend' when her husband called 10 times in a 15 minute period because he was so 'worried about her'. As we shall see later on in this article, that was simply an excuse to 'hide' his controlling behavior!
LOL, I am tracking your every move with a Keylogger!
God Help You If You
Call Or Talk With Anyone
I Said You Couldn't Talk To
She has told people he spies on her computer with Hidden Keylogger Spy Programs, checks her incoming and outgoing cell phone calls, text messages, and emails, and even wants her not to talk with close friends she has had long before they ever met. I truly feel sorry for my 'special friend' because she truly is a trapped animal.
She has alienated her ex boyfriend, the one she really loves, by double crossing him recently. It is highly doubtful he will ever trust her again. And besides, she has said so MUCH bad shit about him to her friends and family w/o ever telling anyone what she did to cause it, there is no going back.
My 'special friend' is a sweet girl, but she is on disability, unable to support herself. So now she finds herself depressed, and in an abusive, super controlling Marriage with a Man she is not really in Love with, who freaking Spies on her.
To make matters worse, she is terrified to contact her ex boyfriend, (the one she really loves) scared to death he will tell her husband to 'get back' at her for her recent escapades.
As I said, I 'know' her ex boyfriend well, very well! The 2 of them recently got back together, w/o her current husbands knowledge! They had a lot of legal problems in the past, and it caused a lot of ongoing legal problems for him, plus it greatly effected his business!
Her ex boyfriend was very upset, but he also went to a lot of therapy and completed anger management. Instead of reading her the riot act, he created a Blog, where he could WRITE about, not ACT on, his hurt feelings.
Remember, her ex boyfriends business was greatly compromised by what she did to him? In fact, MOST of the Blog he wrote was written right after he got out of Jail, when he was very pissed off. In fact, when the 2 of them recently got back together, he even TOLD her about the Blog! No matter, she found the Blog, and freaked out w/o even talking to him about it.
As I said, I know both of the people, and I see a serious communications problem here, and little more. It really is a tragic story for 2 people who really Love each other. One now has health problems, and one is trapped in a controlling marriage with someone she don't even Love.
I found this article about how to spot and identify a controlling relationship for our readers. See if any of this fits the relationship YOU are in ?
It is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become involved with being abusive. Below are a list of behaviours and traits which are common in abusive personalities. These are commonly known as Warning Signs. While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things).
I am only spying on you for your own good!
Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
Jealousy
God Help You If You Call
Or Talk With Anyone I Said
You Couldn't Talk To!
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage, monitor your cell phone, or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
Controlling Behaviour
Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. (calling 10 times to say they were 'worried' about you) Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry, upset, or 'fake concern' if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.
Quick Emotional Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself sexually to him/her.
Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfil all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
Isolation
Why did I ever marry this man ?
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction by telling you WHO you can talk to. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.
Blame-shifting for Problems
Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.
Blame-shifting for Feelings
The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behaviour or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression.
Hypersensitivity
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.).
'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He/she may pressure you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
Rigid Gender Roles
Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion.
Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family. For more information on verbal abuse, see Verbal Abuse.
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde
Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jeckyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
Drink or Substance Abuse
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?)
History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends.
Negative Attitude toward Women
Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect.
Threatening Violence
LOL, I am tracking your every move with a Keylogger!
This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behaviour by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you".
Breaking or Striking Objects
The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalising you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behaviour on to you, but is actually used to terrorise you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.
Any Force during an Argument
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
If you are having difficulty viewing the video, it can be found at the following link on YouTube. The video was created by Mandy Kloppers, a psychiatrist who also created the text-tonic site which offers counselling via text and skype.
Many people in bad relationships that turn into domestic violence situations with restraining orders are unaware they are in relationships withpeople suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. And many people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder are equally unaware they have it at all. Unaware of their mental condition, they go through life idolizing then devaluing those close to them, always in the victims role. Relationships with a Borderline start out quickly and intensely, and can be quite addictive. In the Idolizing phase of the relationship, you will think you have finally met your "soul mate". Little clues may begin to surface as they bad mouth past relationships, even their best friends and family to you, but by then you may find yourself so addicted to them you will think "this will never happen to me". This vacillation between "Good" and "Bad" is called Borderline Splitting. Unlike a more normal person, the person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder sees things in Black and White, with no shades of Grey.
Thus, a person in a relationship with a Borderline is either all good, or all bad.
Unfortunately, many people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder are seldom told what is really wrong with them by Mental Health Professionals. Most Insurance Plans will not pay for Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment because it is so difficult to treat, and the success rate for Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment is very low.
Once a person with Borderline Personality Disorder splits, and you become "Bad" in their eyes, they will do anything and everything to get rid of you, including calling the police, and/or obtaining restraining orders. I found the article below while surfing the Internet.
Restraining Orders and Borderline Personality Disorder
Some use them like candy. They get restraining orders on their partners regularly because of their black and white thinking. Many of the more advanced borderline personality disordered will have a number of restraining orders on others and themselves.
Why Restraining Orders?
Borderlines have such black and white thinking that you are either good or bad in their minds — you are either evil and out to do them wrong, or you are their savior. Ironically, these thoughts about a single person could almost co-exist inside a person.
Once the BPD splits and views you as all bad in the moment, they will do everything that they can to get you out of their life. Remember that borderline personality is a chronic feeling of emptiness, so getting you out of their life also becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
One time, I asked the BPD that I was involved with, “what happens if I actually leave when you have one of these episodes?”
She responded with, “I always thought that’s what I deserve, to be alone.”
You can’t have a normal, fully functional relationship with someone who thinks that they deserve to be alone. Given a borderline’s instability and their self-loathing, this could come out in a number of harmful ways.
A true borderline continually plays the victim role. They have to be the victim of someone, something, constantly. As the partner of a borderline, they will be the victim of you. Protect Yourself
If you are (or were) in a relationship with a borderline, you need to be aware of the restraining order trap and steer clear of it. The problem with a borderline relationship is that things can get so bad so quickly, and you don’t know when it is going to happen, that you can find yourself in a terrible situation with very little notice.
Watch for the following warning signs when dealing with a borderline:
Threatening to contact the police: Many times these are false claims that are again trying to play the victim. However, they could be real, and I’d recommend staying away from anyone who wants to call the police. I know, you can usually calm them down. It’s not your job, and you need to maintain your self dignity. Leave any situation where the borderline is threatening to call the police.
Physical violence: When an extreme fight breaks out, the borderline may hit, kick or scratch at you. At this point, your body’s fight or flight responses take over as adrenaline rushes through your veins. DO NOT FIGHT. WALK AWAY. I can’t stress this enough. Even if the borderline hit you square in the face, once you throw a punch, you may be defending yourself to the police or a judge. Walk away. You don’t want to be with someone who is physically violent with you.
Beginning to play the victim role, of you: Follow me here. Once the borderline starts to become the victim of you and your actions, your world will be turmoil. I’m taking a leap here as I personally stayed involved with the borderline as she tried to be the victim of me over and over again, but maybe you’ll be smarter than me. Believe me, in the long run, it’s better. You don’t want to be with someone that views you so poorly, even if they also idealize you. In the end, they don’t treat you well, and you can find someone that treats you better.
What To Do If Someone Has Filed A Restraining Order Against You
First, get an attorney to defend you. Get the best attorney that you can afford as they will provide you with sound legal advice. I’m not an attorney and don’t play one on TV, so I don’t want to overstep my advice here.
Defend yourself to the fullest extent that you can. Be sure to have no contact with the borderline if at all possible. If children are involved, of course, you’ll need to work through this.
You don’t want to be with someone who is threatening to call the police on you, filing restraining orders, being physically violent or treating you like you’re a terrible person that’s out to victimize them. You can find people that will treat you well — I promise.
If you feel you must stay in a relationship with someone who treats you so poorly, be sure to have boundaries before things ever escalate. Know when and what will make you walk away from a particular situation, and try to stick to those boundaries.
IF you are just coming out of a failed relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, my personal advice is to try not to harbor any feelings of anger or resentment. Being angry with someone is much like pissing in your own pants. The person who feels it the most will usually be you. Just as we would not be angry with a dyslexic child who can't read fluently, why be angry with a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder ? It is not their fault! My advice is to forgive them and move on, for your own health and sanity.
Being angry with someone over a failed relationship is much like pissing in your own pants. The person who feels it the most will usually be you.
I recently had a major heart attack. It started out on my second date with a girl I met who lives 50 miles away. I went up to her place to take her to dinner on our first date. It went well, and so she came down here from New Port Richey Florida to spend the day with me this last Sunday. We went to the flea market, hit some yard sales, and then drove down to Apollo Beach to eat lunch at Circles in Apollo Beach. We were watchiung some movies at my house with my Son and his girlfriend, when it felt like I had indigestion or gas. I got up, and ate some Rolaids and Tums, but still it did not go away. My Date asked me to look for some stuff on Ebay for her, so we went to my bedroom where my computer is, and shopped Ebay. She is diabetic, and did not feel well, and asked me if it was ok to lie on my bed. I said yes, and laid down beside her. The gas got worse, so I went to throw up, thinking it was something I ate ? She reminded me we both ate the same thing. I still made myself vomit till there was nothing more to throw up, and came back to lie down. She told me I looked terrible, and she had to drive all the way back home, it was 11 pm. She left with concern for me. I tried to lie down, but the pain kept getting worse! So, I drove myself to Brandon Hospital, and they admitted me right away. They wired me all up, and gave me a nitroglycerine patch and blood thinners. The patch opened up my arteries, and the pain left. They also checked cardiac enzymes, and I SEEMED fine. They moved me out of ER, awaiting a bed in the cardiac care unit. I went to sleep, and was awakened to a team of 8 people with lidocaine shots and shock apparatus. They said my heart went into a 45 beat Vtac, a death rythym and moved me right back to intensive care ER. They wired me with shock receptors. I heard them talking outside the ER, they called a Priest for last rites! They fully expected me to "not last the night", and said so. This scared me even more, as I was confronted with dying, alone! I did not awaken anyone at my house when I left for the hospital, no one knew where I was. I started to pray, and ask God to forgive me of my sins. I did not hear a voice or anything like that, but I got this persistent thought that kept telling me "How can I forgive you, if you do not forgive others" And so, I decided to forgive some people, again. Actually, I had forgiven them already, yet they came back into my life recently to intentionally deceive and double cross me. It took me literally being on my deathbed to do it again, but I feel relieved it is done.
Showing a Cardiac Stent being installed
I did last the night, and went up to the cardio floor the next day. The nurse practicioner from the cardiac group came to see me, and told me they wanted to inject die in my heart, and wanted me to sign permission for open heart surgery or a stent. I was scared, so I said no. She left, and returned with the Cardiologist who assured me I was lucky to be alive, had a major cardiac event, and would not survive another that was certain to come if they did not act right away. They found 95 percent blockage, and put in a drug coated stent . I must take Effient. a super expensive blood clot preventer like Plavix for a year.
The Cardiologist asked me about Stress in my life, and told me it must all be eliminated. I am also diabetic, and he told me we must get close control of both my blood pressure and sugar. He advised me to apply for Social Security Disability. I have had a LOT of stress lately that I am sure did not help my condition. I can not afford any anger or stress in my life, and have acted to eliminate anything that was causing it.
Mark Zuckerberg has obtained a restraining order against 31-year-old Pradeep Manukonda -- after Mark Zuckerberg filed legal papers claiming the guy has tried to "follow, surveil and contact Mr. Zuckerberg using language threatening his personal safety" ... and the safety of his girlfriend and his sister.
Law enforcement sources tell us Pradeep had gone to several Facebook offices in Palo Alto attempting to contact Mark Zuckerberg to ask for money for his financially-strapped family.
According to the legal docs, Facebook security also intercepted Pradeep at Mark Zuckerberg's home on January 24 just as he was about to walk up the front steps.
Cops gave Pradeep a verbal warning -- but Mark Zuckerberg claims the guy has continued to try to contact him through the mail ... even sending flowers to his home with a hand-written letter on January 28.
In one of his Facebook messages to Mark Zuckerberg, Pradeep writes, "please help me, then I am ready to die for you." He continues, "Please understand my pain."
The judge has ordered Pradeep to stay at least 300 yards away from Mark Zuckerberg, his sister Randi and his girlfriend Priscilla Chan pending a hearing later this month.
At her brothers wedding, our wedding was supposed to be next!
Verbally and Emotionally Abusive relationships can often lead to Domestic Violence, and Restraining Orders. These toxic relationships can often be hard to break. My personal relationship actually ended when my ex girlfriend Eileen Riordan got a Hillsborough County Restraining Order against me, then deceived me into violating it over one year ago.
Eileen Riordan makes a mockery of the Hillsborough County FL Legal System by claiming fear to get a restraining order, using me to find and move her into an apartment, loan her money, then calling the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Deputy's to have me arrested at will!
She also committed perjuryduring a Hillsborough County Bond Hearing, to keep me in Jail. She had all kinds of contact with me during the restraining order, but it mattered not to the Hillsborough County Legal system she has learned how to manipulate so well.
At No Doubt Concert 2009 With Hillsborough County Florida Restraining Order In Effect,
Showing We Were Contacting Each Other Despite The Restraining Order!
She has had "domestic violence problems" with 2 other men in Hillsborough County besides me, and she has 1 active Law Suit she is trying to collect on I highlighted in Red.
(I plan to contact the defense attorneys for her Apartment Complex to make them aware of her many pre existing medical conditions/facts I know about this law suits to insure no false claims are made)
I think it is safe to say Eileen Riordan "knows her way around the Hillsborough County legal system" :)
I was placed on 2 years Probation, and prohibited from any contact with her. Hillsborough County Judge Manuel Lopez acted to protect me from her, and also made it a crime for her to see me! Eileen married her new boyfriend Warren Earl "Butch" Jewell, who was also listed as a witness along with his Mother for her in a restraining order violation she tricked me into.
Susy, Ellen, Me, and Dawn
Over a year had passed, Eileen Riordan was married to Butch Jewell, and I had dated several girls, including this last girlfriend who was living at my house. One day her friend Sandy contacted me, to sell me a Credit Card Machine. We got to talking, and Eileen's name came up. I told Sandy I was still in Love with Eileen, even though it had been a year. I also told Sandy we were not allowed to contact each other.
"Gothic Princess" Eileen and "Caveman Chris" at Halloween Party With Hillsborough County Restraining Order In Place 2007
It took about 3 weeks for the Credit Card machine Sandy sold me to get programmed, and her and I got to know each other better. Though she is Eileen's girlfriend from childhood, I had met her only a few times when Eileen and I were together. During this 3 week period, my friend and Eileen's daughters ex boyfriend Anthony Creelman came back in my life as an employee of my business. Eileen contacted him, asking him to contact me, and the next thing I knew, we started seeing each other again, though she was still married! Eileen apologized profusely for all the Hillsborough County Florida legal problems she caused me, promising to "make it all up to me". I sent the girl that was living with me away, so Eileen and I could be together. I even told Sandy about Eileen and I, and she told me Eileen told her she Loved me, and did not love her husband Butch Jewell, and planned to leave him. Because Eileen told her best friend of her "Intentions" I trusted her again. Sandy even said "If Eileen double crosses you again Chris, there will be hell to pay"
Sandy acted like she was upset abut what Eileen had previously done to me. So, it was about 3 to 4 weeks of happiness being with Eileen again. She told me how she did not Love her husband Butch, and only married him because with me out of the picture , she had no one to support her. She told me she had been depressed over me going to jail, and not being able to contact me. I asked her WHY she waited for a year to contact me, and she said" Chris, I was afraid after all I did to you, you would not want me back".About a week before Eileen's marriage to Butch Jewell, she did attempt to contact me on Yahoo. I refused her connection request, thinking it was just a way to have me arrested. In retrospect, I should have called The Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office, and had her arrested for contact! (more on that later)
While her husband was at work, we were always together. We both called each other behind her husbands back, and she said she was careful to erase all the outgoing and incoming calls. She planned to go to Japan to see her Son and new Grandson. Before she left, she wanted to make sure we could see each other legally again, so she wrote a letter to Hillsborough County Judge Lopez telling him she loved me, and requesting that he allow us to see each other again, Legally. She even asked to send the Hillsborough County court papers to her Aunt Carol's home, so her husband Butch Jewell would not find out.
Eileen and I at Apollo Beach 2006 with Hillsborough County Restraining Order in Effect against me!
Before she left for Japan, I told her about my Blog post about her and I. I explained to Eileen that because of her lies about me, I now have a criminal record that was harming my Tampa Roof Cleaning Company, and making it difficult to meet a new girl before she came back into my life, since they check you out on the Internet. I also told her it was my HOPE that my Blog Post would have a Happy Ending with her and I getting married! I never tried to hide this Blog from her, I had no reason to. Everything on it is true to the best of my recollection, and backed up with proof! Our restraining order story, though she may not like it, , highlights this Blogs Political Position that the current laws regarding restraining orders here in Hillsborough County are unfair. It is our position that the minute a Woman claims Fear to get a restraining order against a Man, and is found to be contacting him during the restraining order, that order of protection should be declared null and void on the Spot!
Well, Eileen left for Japan, and asked me to set up a SKYPE Account, so we could stay in touch. She called me from SKYPE in Japan, asking how the court thing went, and IF we could see each other Legally. I tried to return her call, and I thought she answered. It SAID "Eileen M Riordan" but it turned out to be her Husband Butch Jewell on her computer at home! To make a long story short, once her husband found out about us, Eileen ceased almost all contact with me! Eileen and her Aunt Carol returned from Japan, and I was scared to death that Eileen was going to go into Hillsborough County court for the hearing, and do something to get me into trouble. Anthony Creelman and his wife were also concerned, so they asked Eileen if she had any bad intentions regarding me. Eileen offered to make a video to show to the judge, since she said she did not want to go to court. Eileen concocted a bullshit story for her husband that her "only intention" was to get me off probation, and even used the video she made as "proof", though the letter to Hillsborough County Judge Manuel Lopez says she loves me.
Her husband has called me repeatedly with a threatening tone for "messing with his wife". Judge Lopez granted Eileen's request for us to see each other legally. Since that time, Eileen has attempted to get me trespassed from her apartment complex, as well as making several calls to my Probation Officer trying to get me arrested, and complaining about this Blog! I just found out Eileen Riordan contacted the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office, and told them that Anthony Creelman "told her" I was actively stalking her at her apartment.
Anthony Creelman lives and works with me, and he told me he never told her that. He has even made a comment on this Blog to that effect. Filing A False Police Reportis a crime here in Florida, Anthony Creelman and I will be asking the Hillsborough County States Attorney for prosecution of Eileen Riordan for this, along with the other documented Perjury Charges she committed against me in Court.
"Gothic Princess" Eileen and "Caveman Chris" at Halloween Party With Hillsborough County FL Restraining Order In Effect 2007
I have scratched my head wondering WTF happened to Eileen and I, it seemed as if we were back in Love again. All my friends pointed out that her husband finding out about us was no "excuse" for Eileen's "come here, now go away" behavior. After all, she said she planned to leave him, so he would have found out sooner or later about us anyway! My friends also pointed out that I TOLD her about thisRestraining Order Blog Post, and IF it was really the "problem" it could ALL Go Away with a single mouse click! They say Love Is Blind, and I really believed her. I share my story for the readers of this Hillsborough County Restraining Order Blog that they might relate, and learn from my mistakes. Maybe we can get the laws changed someday ?
Here is what my friends have pointed out to me, and finally made me see the light about Eileen. Eileen Riordan never had ANY plans to get back with me at all. More likely, she had plans to Get BACK at me for this Blog! My friends point out that her friend Sandy popping up at my home was all part of the plan to "feel me out", to make sure that if Eileen contacted me, I would not call Police. I believe her husband Butch was in on the plan all along. As evidence of this, Eileen was with me the time he returned home from work early. He called 7 times in a 15 minute period, and even had his Mother call Eileen! Worried he may have found out about us and harm Eileen, I asked her to play me his messages. I heard one of his messages to her saying "Hey Baby, are you OK, I am very worried about you !" I believe Eileen told him she was meeting up with me, all part of her plan to make me fall in Love with her again, HOPING when she broke it off I would do something stupid so she could have me arrested, and my probation violated.
I think Butch Jewell knew exactly what she was up to, and got worried when she was gone so unexpectedly long.
Remember, I respected and complied with the Hillsborough County Restraining Order for over a year. I believe she felt the only way to get back at me for this Blog was to have the restraining order dropped, make me fall in love with her again, lull me into a false sense of trust and security, then hope I came around so she could call the police.
It is 2/2/2011, and my probation officer just called saying Eileen's husband just called, saying I was "stalking them" That is a LIE. She has also continued to contact Anthony Creelman, asking to talk with me, as well as sending him text messages saying to tell me she "was sorry" for contacting my probation officer!
Readers of this Blog, I had Planned to let all of the past go as far as Eileen and I are concerned. But in light of her recent attempts to have me arrested and trespassed, after just asking the judge to see me legally, I am not so inclined anymore.
In my original blog post on this matter, written days after I got out of Hillsborough County Jail, I called for Perjury Charges to be brought against her. I don't think I mentioned I planned to make the Florida Board of Nursing aware she is on disability for mental health problems, and cuts herself when stressed ?
As another example of the current restraining order laws needing changed, can you believe I was actually prohibited from trying to protect the public from these self admitted mental health problem of this Florida Nurse ? I was advised that because of the restraining order she was able to get against me, that even a Nursing Board Complaint could get me in trouble by causing Third Party Contact!
Here, in her own handwriting, are her many mental health issues, and her admission she cuts herself.
It is my belief I must act on this before her mental health problems possibly compromise the health care of a patient. (she currently holds a valid Florida LPN Nursing License)
License Verification
Data As Of 2/2/2011
EILEENMARIERIORDAN
LICENSE NUMBER: PN659991
Profession
LICENSED PRACTICAL NURSE
License/Activity Status
CLEAR/ACTIVE
License Expiration Date
License Original Issue Date
7/31/2011
05/31/1982
Discipline on File
Public Complaint
NO
NO
Address of Record
BRANDON,FL33511
UNITED STATES
The information on this page is a secure, primary source for license verification provided by The Florida Department of Health, Division of Medical Quality Assurance. This website is maintained by Division staff and is updated immediately upon a change to our licensing and enforcement database.
I have her own testimony in court she cuts herself, backed by certified transcripts, to assure patients will not be possibly compromised. I was actually prohibited from filing aNursing Board Complaint in the past, as I was advised I could be arrested for third party contact since a restraining order was in place! I will add this Email she sent me when I accidentally found it while working on her computer (and threatened to break up with her for) to the Florida Board Of Nursing Complaint. Here she is (A Licensed Nurse), revealing my medical information to a Lesbian Stranger she had just met on Adult Friend Finder, a website where you go to meet people for casual sex. I did not care as much about her meeting a Lesbian on a Casual Sex website (though her email to the Lesbian indicates we were a "couple" at the time) but a Nurse is considered a medical professional, and is not allowed to reveal my medical information under HIPPA Guidelines for Nurses.
I spoke to the Nursing Board today, and they asked me to be sure to include this email correspondence of hers to the Lesbian in my complaint. I will also be including the letter she wrote for me and my attorney admitting her many mental conditions, and her cutting herself.
Thanks for e-mailing me back so fast. I feel like I have a new friend to talk to about things I'd not dare ask anybody else. Like you said, get rid of the current guy, he has already called me 3 times today. I had a doctors appt. and I wanted to do something with one of my friends tonight and he is insisting I spend the evening with him. I don't want to, I know he is going to try his best to get me to go to bed with him and I don't want to. He has not gotten any from me in 8 months now, I keep making up excuses. His name is Chris and he was very rich back in the day but he lost everything to drugs, including his little boy Joey at the age of 3yrs. old. The state took him away from him and his 2nd wife because of drugs. This is many years ago and he doesn't do drugs anymore. As a result of his addictions he has **** and ******* and I don't want to end up with any ********, I have enough health problems to deal with. I almost died of Anorexia Nervosa, I got down to 62lbs. and my doctor told my family I would be dead in 2 weeks if I didn't get into the hospital. I am 5 feet 2inches and my currant weight is 86lbs. I was in the hospital for 3 months and I have been back there 3 times. Yes, I do go to therapy once a week and see my psychiatrist once a month and I am on medications.
This Chris treats me like a princess if I do everything HE wants me to do,but I'm NOT married and last time I checked, I am free, white and over 21! As a matter of fact he just called and I didn't answer so he left a nasty message on my answering machine and he just called my cell phone twice, all within 2 minutes.I hope I haven't bored you to death with my problems but its nice to have an internet friend !
Please e-mail me back when you can, I would like to see what you think about all this crap I just told you.
Take care, talk to you soon ! Eileen
Kris Harmon <haftaride@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Eileen,
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about the pain that's been inflicted on you by men. I think the FIRST thing you have to do is get rid of the current guy somehow. My last partner had bipolar disorder and while she wasn't violent, I do have some understanding of how serious it is. It's a dangerous thing that he's trying to isolate you from your family and friends. You mentioned that it wasn't worth losing your nursing license over the guys who were doing drugs, but it's also not worth losing yourSELF to these kinds of men. Are you in therapy at all? If not, I think it would do you a lot of good. I don't mean to preach at you, because I'm certainly not an expert, and it's easier said than done, but please figure out how to get away from this man so you can take care of YOU and your children. Does he live with you?
About the Adult Friend Finder Web site, I can see why you would have trouble talking to people there. It's not exactly the kind of place you go to discuss serious and personal issues...at least from what I've seen. I'm still kind of new there, too. I wouldn't worry about trying to check out lesbian bars. I don't think they're the best places to meet women, but that's just my opinion. There are wonderful resources on the Internet that you can use privately...not like you'd be seen at a bar. I don't know where you live, but there also might be a local (or the next town over) chapter of PFLAG (parents and friends of lesbians and gays). They usually hold regular meetings it might be place that you could go that would be safe and you could get information. Also, try this Web site:
You'll have to register (for free) but there are lots of people in there seeking and giving advice...would probably be a great place for you to start.
If you really want to meet women for dating, maybe try the Yahoo personals. I've met some really nice women that way.
The bottom line is YOU WILL BE OK! Just deal with one thing at a time but like I said, first make sure you're safe.
Feel free to email any time, ok?
Talk to you soon.
Kris
I will post more when I have time for our readers, in the hope they can learn something about my experiences and mistakes in a bad relationship. Unfortunately, many people in a really bad relationship like I was fail to recognize or admit it, and wind up victims on the wrong side of a Hillsborough County Florida Restraining Order by people like Eileen who thrive on this sort of drama and control. I Loved Eileen, but little did I know (or refused to see) she was bad mouthing me to nearly every one, except ME! In keeping with the theme of this Love Is Blind - Recognizing A Bad Relationship post, here is another occasion where I failed to see Eileen was cheating on me. This is another email I found the same day I found the one she wrote the Lesbian, and she also sent this to me. Notice how she is playing the religious role to get her ex husband John who she also claims beat her over 20 years of their marriage back. I was so proud of myself after I accidentally found these emails on her computer when she asked me to fix it. I calmly told her it was over, and walked out of her apartment w/o even raising my voice, let alone any Domestic Violence!
These emails (I have the originals in my possession) are but a SMALL example of what Eileen put me through. She was careful to alienate me from her friends and family, to keep me unaware of her constant bad mouthing of me to anyone she was trying to get "sympathy" from or "bond with". This is how she operates and attracts "new friends" (fellow co dependents) by making people feel sorry for her. All her friends and family ever heard was Eileen's "side of things", backed by angry phone messages I left on her phone that made me look bad.
I bought Alexis AAA for her car and her travels, when I called to add her to my policy, they were running a special and it only cost me 15.00 for the year for her with all the benefits. I thought that was great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also wanted to tell you that I started to go to the Crossings Church and I love it!!!!!!!
I have every Friday and Saturday off and I have to work Sunday through Thursday, I finally got a regular schedule which is great so I can now plan for things that I need to do or want to do. It is unusual that I would get those 2 days off as such a new employee but I feel that God gave me favor with these people and I really like my job.
I get ready for work and then I go to the 11:00AM service at The Crossings Church and it is just down the road from my new appartment right off of Faulkenburg or the entrance off of Lumsden. David and Ruth invited me to go with them and I felt the Holy Spirit so strong in there and the Pastor was great at relaying the Word of God. I understood everything he was talking about. Why don't you come check it out and see what you think about it, I think you would like it as well. They have a lot of programs to offer as well. So, I get up Sunday morning, get ready for church, go to church, then we go visit Dad, eat, then I go to work. It works out perfectly even though I have to work.
I just thought I would share this with you. Take care of yourself. Have a great day!!!!!!!
I still LOVE YOU and there could never be another YOU and I was told to let my feelings be known because we are not promised tomorrow. I Love You With ALL My Heart and I am deeply sorry for ANYTHING that I have EVER done to hurt you. Please tell me how you feel. You don't have to live the rest of your life alone just because of what happened with Margie. I know that Larry has had a bad time with women and I feel like some of his bitterness towards women have rubbed off on you and I really think you should do for yourself and feel for yourself and live for yourself. None of us are getting any younger.
I just felt I needed to tell you this. I feel like I am still married to you and I left a message on your phone the other day and I caught myself starting to say," I love you " at the end of the message. I DO LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL. I will die alone because there is NO other man in this entire world that I want anything to do with and I won't.
LOVE, " ALWAYS AND FOREVER " ( remember, you used to sing that song to me all the time, and whenever I hear it on the radio, I think of you singing it to me and it makes me cry ) Love, Eileen
Now, after I walked out of her apartment, she blew my home phone up with poor me/suicidal messages begging me not to leave her! Here is an email of apology for the Love Letter she wrote to her ex husband John. Notice how she bad mouths her ex husband (after she just begged him to take her back) and then attempts to "rescue" me from her Family (More on her poor, innocent family members later!) This Email to me was written in 2007, Long AFTER I supposedly "Drug her down 3 flights of stairs, and ran her over with my Car! I admit, I did say her Ex Husband John had gotten fat and goofy looking, and I thought I was a better looking Man.
I don't even know how to start this out. I appologize for what I did from the bottom of my heart. I can truley undrstand how you feel right now. I have already thrown up 3 times already. No matter how you look at this, I was wrong and I am so sorry. I am telling you the truth that I was so glad that when I checked my e-mail the next day I saw that the letter never got to him. Sometimes I get depressed and get tired after I take my night time meds.,then I do stupid shit like this.
I LOVE YOU, and ONLY YOU. I can't emagine my life without you. You have always been here for me no matter what, you treat me better then anybody in this entire world has ever treated me. You treat me like a princess while the rest of the world shits all over me starting with my family members. You are a very handsome man with a very big heart.
I truely did not care one bit that my family members were coming over here today and you were here, because I love you and I don't give a shit what they think or say, this is MY house, and you are my boyfriend.
I was so proud of you that you went to anger management on your own and it really has helped you. You are right, John is fat and goofy looking and not as well educated as you and being educated is a big deal to me. I really don't know why I wrote that letter to him, and please feel it in your heart to forgive me. I will do everything and anything you want me to do to proove my love and dedication to YOU and ONLY YOU, just tell me what you want me to do. I have had such a good time with you these past 2 weekends and I was looking forward to spending the day with you tomorrow before I went to work. I was even excited about going to look for your new truck.
Please, Chris, let me proove my love and commitment to you, I just can't even thinkof how my life would be without you, I consider you as my best friend too. I can't live without my Love and my Best Friend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games
Staying with the Love Is Blind - Trying To Break Bad Relationships theme of this post, to possibly help others recognize the signs of a bad relationship and prevent Domestic Violence, I offer this. I was BLIND to a lot of what was really going on in my failed relationship with Eileen. Eileen has a daughter who was always smart beyond her years. One day, I asked her "Alexis, what do you think is THE problem with your Mom and I" ? She told me "Chris, are you aware that my Mom is bad mouthing you constantly to me, our family members, and all her friends" I was totally shocked. Her daughter said her and her family were so sick of hearing about how "bad" I was they told her to leave me, or else! Nearly every friend Of Eileen's I met gave me bad vibes or the "evil eye". I honestly thought her friends and family were just "weird people", and had no earthly idea why they gave me the cold shoulder. It IS true I did not want to be around them, so Eileen is partially correct in saying "Chris did not want me around my family and friends". But who wants to be around unfriendly people ? Little did I know at the time that Eileen was filling their heads with bullshit, and outright LIES about me, never ever telling any of them all the wonderful things I did for her. In retrospect, I think I was a "good target" for her emotional abuse. I am not an innately violent person, but I do admit to being very persistent, and wired a bit differently. Before Anger Management, I did scream and yell at her out of sheer frustration, and called her some really awful names. I NEVER hit her, ever. But I did grab her wrist once, momentarily. One of Eileen's favorite things to do was make plans with me, and tell me to pick her up at 8 pm for instance. I would make dinner reservations, then go to get her and her car would be gone. I would call and call, nicely at first, then as I lost my temper as she totally ignored my calls, leave terrible messages, because she did this to me over, and over, and over again. Little did I know, she was intentionally pissing me off by standing me up, then ignoring me, so she could "show" whatever person she was attempting to attract sympathy from "How Bad Chris Treats Her") Of course, when she played them the 10 horrible messages, she was always careful to erase the 20 nice "Hey Honey, where are you" ones that preceded them! She was quite successful in portraying me out to be a "Madman" to her family and friends by cleverly pruning the phone messages, and omitting HER part in things. She actually CULTIVATED phone messages of me losing my temper and yelling at her, and would save them to play at every opportunity she got to make me look bad.
The second time we met, she started bad mouthing several friends and family members to me, playing the victim. I was smart enough to see this pattern initially, and wondered silently to myself "Am I going to wind up like her friends and family someday by being bad mouthed" But by then, it was too late. I swear I fell in Love with Eileen the minute I met her. My emotions took over from my perceptions, and before I knew what happened, I was in a bad relationship.
Eileen and I are very different in this respect, she is very much a people pleaser, and I am not. She seemed to have a deep seated need to be rescued that her and I do not share. She was involved in a tragic accident as a child, and got a lot of well deserved attention because she was badly burned. It is my belief she never "grew out" of that. She has told me she feels her family treats her like shit, and sometimes I felt she felt the only way she could get any attention from her family was to make them "feel sorry" for her. In other words, it is my belief Eileen NEEDS a "Bad Guy" in her life, and if she don't have one, she will "make one" . Remember Readers of this Blog, she came after ME, a full year after our break up, and she is currently married to someone else! We had our recent affair, she got me to fall back in Love with her, and for no reason whatsoever, broke it off without so much as an "I am sorry Chris, I changed my mind phone call" To add insult to injury, she has attempted to get me trespassed, and arrested on several recent occasions, including Lying to the Hillsborough County Sheriff Deputy's ! Of course, she portrayed herself to her husband and some family members that she "Only tried to get me off Probation, because it was hurting my business" She has told some of them "You KNOW how Chris Tucker is". This is classic "Come here, now go away when I say" Emotionally Abusive Controlling Behavior.
Readers of this Blog, if YOU or someone you know is in a relationship like I was in, GET OUT!
It is my belief Eileen Loves Me, as much as she is capable of that emotion. But it is my opinion that playing the victim, and getting rescued by people is more important then her need for Love. In her world, today's "good guy" can be tomorrows "bad guy", and tomorrows "bad guy" can be next weeks "good guy" as she vacillates from victim, to persecutor, to rescuer. You can see this pattern by the emails.
I am not a Psychiatrist, and can only guess about someones Mental Health Conditions. Here is an excellent article I found about what it is like to be in a relationship with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder .
Some use them like candy. They get restraining orders on their partners regularly because of their black and white thinking. Many of the more advanced borderline personality disordered will have a number of restraining orders on others and themselves.
Why Restraining Orders?
Borderlines have such black and white thinking that you are either good or bad in their minds — you are either evil and out to do them wrong, or you are their savior. Ironically, these thoughts about a single person could almost co-exist inside a person.
Once the BPD splits and views you as all bad in the moment, they will do everything that they can to get you out of their life. Remember that borderline personality is a chronic feeling of emptiness, so getting you out of their life also becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
One time, I asked the BPD that I was involved with, “what happens if I actually leave when you have one of these episodes?”
She responded with, “I always thought that’s what I deserve, to be alone.”
You can’t have a normal, fully functional relationship with someone who thinks that they deserve to be alone. Given a borderline’s instability and their self-loathing, this could come out in a number of harmful ways. A true borderline continually plays the victim role. They have to be the victim of someone, something, constantly. As the partner of a borderline, they will be the victim of you. Protect Yourself
If you are (or were) in a relationship with a borderline, you need to be aware of the restraining order trap and steer clear of it. The problem with a borderline relationship is that things can get so bad so quickly, and you don’t know when it is going to happen, that you can find yourself in a terrible situation with very little notice.
Watch for the following warning signs when dealing with a borderline:
Threatening to contact the police: Many times these are false claims that are again trying to play the victim. However, they could be real, and I’d recommend staying away from anyone who wants to call the police. I know, you can usually calm them down. It’s not your job, and you need to maintain your self dignity. Leave any situation where the borderline is threatening to call the police.
Physical violence: When an extreme fight breaks out, the borderline may hit, kick or scratch at you. At this point, your body’s fight or flight responses take over as adrenaline rushes through your veins. DO NOT FIGHT. WALK AWAY. I can’t stress this enough. Even if the borderline hit you square in the face, once you throw a punch, you may be defending yourself to the police or a judge. Walk away. You don’t want to be with someone who is physically violent with you.
Beginning to play the victim role, of you: Follow me here. Once the borderline starts to become the victim of you and your actions, your world will be turmoil. I’m taking a leap here as I personally stayed involved with the borderline as she tried to be the victim of me over and over again, but maybe you’ll be smarter than me. Believe me, in the long run, it’s better. You don’t want to be with someone that views you so poorly, even if they also idealize you. In the end, they don’t treat you well, and you can find someone that treats you better.
What To Do If Someone Has Filed A Restraining Order Against You
First, get an attorney to defend you. Get the best attorney that you can afford as they will provide you with sound legal advice. I’m not an attorney and don’t play one on TV, so I don’t want to overstep my advice here.
Defend yourself to the fullest extent that you can. Be sure to have no contact with the borderline if at all possible. If children are involved, of course, you’ll need to work through this.
You don’t want to be with someone who is threatening to call the police on you, filing restraining orders, being physically violent or treating you like you’re a terrible person that’s out to victimize them. You can find people that will treat you well — I promise.
If you feel you must stay in a relationship with someone who treats you so poorly, be sure to have boundaries before things ever escalate. Know when and what will make you walk away from a particular situation, and try to stick to those boundaries.
Here is Eileen in the role as the persecutor, she had broken up with me, but I am the president and founder of a large singles group. Perhaps she felt her control of me slipping away, so she has a "friend"named Michael join my singles group to slander me!
APPROVE -- arf_the_werewoof wants to join BrandonSingles
The following person would like to join the BrandonSingles group: Email address: arf_the_werewoof <madmac5@gte.net>
Comment from user: Chris the leader of Brandon Singles is currently stalking a young lady....he is underhanded and a lair He pretends to be a nice guy and treats woman like crap
This membership request requires your approval because the BrandonSingles group is restricted, which means you must approve each new member.
NOTE: This membership request will expire after 14 days. If you do not take action within that time, this membership request will be automatically rejected. Yahoo! Groups does this to maintain a high quality of service for our users.
Thank you for choosing Yahoo! Groups.
Now, let's do a simple Google search of this email address madmac5@gte.netto see WHO it belongs to ? Well look at this ?
Michael John @@@@@@...10 miles.0 ticketsmadmac5@gte.net The ... [ www.fortunecity.com ]. ,Marriage,Margraf,Beaver Dam, WI,LaCrosse, WI,Rheinlander ... pipl.com/directory/name/Priewe/140
Michael John @@@@@@...10 miles............0 tickets madmac5@gte.netThe last 3 years (May 2001) only had to buy tickets to about 7 games out of 20 that I ... www.fortunecity.com/skyscraper/data/5/storm.htm - Cached
Now, when working on Eileen's Daughters Computer that was running slow, she told me to delete music and needless picture files, because the hard drive was full! I came across a 1/2 naked picture of her "friend" Michael ! Eileen claimed she had no idea what a 1/2 naked picture like that was doing on her daughters computer, and to delete it! So I did, then when working on Eileen's computer months later, I found this email from Eileen to her "friend" Mike.
I just forwarded that e-mail that was sent to me from a friend of mine, I thought it was cool but a bit pricey!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sending you this e-mail to ask you to send me that picture of you that you sent me a while back, it is on my old server and I lost the picture and I really liked it. You sexy man you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have any others to share with me send them as well.
Thanks, have fun watching HOUSE then you need to get your handsome rest.
I had to go to bed before you because I am not as handsome as you so I required a head start. Love Ya, Eileen
I will write more later! (Of course, I have all the original emails that Eileen Riordan sent me, lest anyone think I made all this stuff up)
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