My ex-girlfriend and I argued constantly over the last three months of our relationship. It came to a head the day, THE DAY, I moved in. She accused me of trying to set up dates with an old girlfriend when all I was doing was trying to give her back the four books she lent me.
Well, the arguing escalated and I touched her in anger. Four days later, FOUR DAYS, after constantly arguing, I had enough and told her that I was moving back to Orlando. (She lives in Melbourne)
Well, she called the cops and, with the coaching of her daughter who works for the state of Florida Child Protective Services, convinced the investigating officer to charge me with Domestic Violence by Strangulation. A third degree felony. Before she called, she texted me and threatened to commit suicide if I left, THEN she threatened me that she would call the cops.
This occured on July 14th, 2010. Well, back in June when we were just a loving, constantly fighting couple, I took her down to Delray Beach for the week. Her computer broke and I had just been givien a knew one for work bt didn't want to use it due to all the work I had on my old one.
She had some pictures that I liked and I decided to email them to my yahoo account using my new computer. I cc'd her as well. This occurred on June 14th.
Now, the Victim's Advocate decided that I was a big monster and convinced her to get a restraining order on me. I was served papers on my 53rd birthday, Aug. 10th. Also on that day, I was finally in a position to start using my new computer and decided to begin using it.
Much to my dismay, the pictures that I sent on June 14th, and are dated on my computer as sent that day, arrive in my Yahoo email account and her AOL email acct.
The Injunction Hearing took place on Aug. 19th. I was fearful that the judge would make the injunction forever, so I agreed to it. Even though she lied about the incident and told the judge that she caught me texting women, plural, trying to set up dates. The judge set it up for a year.
In October my court case, which by now had been reduced to Battery Domestic Violence, a misdemeanor, was set for jury trial. My attorney told the State Attorney that this was nothing, that she had threatened suicide and call the cops, and showed him the text messages. In addition, her calling four days after the incident didn't set very well.
I finally agreed to plea to Breach of Peace, Disoederly Conduct. No probation, Adjudication of Guilt Witheld, and a $221.00 fine.
I was set to plea on Oct. 22. On Oct. 21st, I get a criminal summons for four violations on the condition of my release. The four pictures I sent to her on June 14th but did not get received until Aug. 10th.
This was the day before, THE DAY BEFORE, my plea deal with the state attorney.
I gave my attorney all the documentation that I had that verified I sent the emails on June 10th. My Docket Sounding is this Tuesday, Dec. 14th.
I spent two nights in jail, spent close to $10,000 in bond, attorney, and other costs, lost half my living room furniture, a t.v., assorted clothing, some small appliances, a barbecue grill and accessories, weeks of work, and a great amount of anxiety.
I have a restraining order against me until Aug. 19th 2011, and am STILL not done with this crap.
Oh yeah, I should mention that the woman was abused as a child, battered for 20 years by her ex-husband, date raped and stalked, then became an alcoholic. My restraining order was the FOURTH one she has been involved in. Two against one guy, one against her, for 10 years, and mine.
With the Lord, I will carry on!
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You are close to my age (56), and aren't we both getting a little old for this kind of stuff ?
ReplyDeleteA relationship where you constantly argue, and push each others buttons to the point that you touch her is not a healthy, loving relationship. My ex girlfriend was abused horribly by her ex over a 20 year marriage she stayed in to be the good little Christian girl.
He broke her jaw, controlled her money, and belittled her to the children every chance he got.
He actually succeeded in convincing her own family she was "crazy" because he put on such a good "Christian Man" act!
Then along I come, treat her like a princess, and I got all the repressed anger directed at me she had for her ex husband!
Before anger management, I lacked the tools to deal with the constant frustration and emotional abuse she subjected me to ( I was no 'angel"), although I never hit her, ever.
It is my opinion that any relationship that results in physical abuse of either partner is a sick one, and needs to just end.
From the sound of your letter, it seems like you and her are like oil and water, you just don't mix ?
I understand the financial and emotional burden this relationship has caused you.
But IMHO, it is time to put this all behind you, and move on.
You are correct. I am TRYING to put this all behind me. I went to Anger Management counseling, voluntarily, two months prior to the incident.
ReplyDeleteMy counselor, begged me to get away from her. He even told me what would probably happen if I did move in. He was 100% accurate.
No, I was no angel in this relationship. However, I tried everything to improve it. I didn't hit her, even the investigating officer commented that charges would most likely be thrown out of court.
I'm just frustrated with the system. I want to move on but then the courts won't let it go. My evidence is convincing. I even volunteered to allow the stat's computer guru to look at my computer to verify that the emails were sent on June 14th.
We'll know tomorrow.
I sincerely hope you are able to put this relationship behind you, and move on.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the computer "evidence" goes, I don't see how they can prove it was YOU who sent the pictures, if anyone else uses your computer, as is so common today. Remember, they can charge you with whatever charge they like, to PROVE it before a Jury is another matter entirely.
UPDATE-
ReplyDeleteAfter five months and 8 scheduled jury trails, the State Attorney dropped all charges. I had enough evidence, along with expert testimony on how the emails occurred, and even had my attorney file a Demand for a Speedy Trial. I was loaded with ammo to prove my case. On the morning of the scheduled trial, the judge FINALLY called me out in open court and told me that the State Attorney was nolle prossing the case. People, the deck is stacked against anyone who is charged with a violation. However, stick to your guns and fight. The State Attorney has to file ALL cases with the state of Florida to show that they are aggresively pusuing all DV cases. NO MATTER HOW WRONG OR FRIVOLOUS.
You are still screwed, even though the states attorney no processed your violating a restraining order case. It will still show up on your arrest record, unless you hire a lawyer to have it removed.
ReplyDeletealready done, Another $1,000 down the drain.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I have been in a relationship for close to a year now with a wonderful woman. Told her all about these charges and she even came with me to court.
All I can say is, thank God it's over and thank God I have a sane woman.
Why were you unable to have the arrest removed or the domestic violence arrest records sealed ?
ReplyDeleteI asked my attorney and he said I can only get one charge removed. He stated the DV charge was dropped down to a "Breach of Peace, Disorderly Conduct" with adjudication witheld. The violation charges, while dismissed, were the more damaging. So I opted for sealing the violation charges.
ReplyDelete