This is an email from a reader with questions about a Tampa Temporary Restraining Order filed against her by a guy she was seeing who turned out to be married.
The story is rather long but i would appreciate it if you could let me know if i can win the case or not. I have a court hearing in Tampa to defend myself against a temporary restraining order being placed against me by a guy I had been seeing in Tampa for 10 years. I was in the process of ending the relationship but I did not before his wife found out. I received a call from his wife on a Sunday night and she said that I, my mother or aunt had been calling her job and home to tell her that he was in a relationship with me for many years. When I spoke with her I made it clear to her that I have never spoken with her,I have not spoken with my mother in months and my aunts are deceased. She told me that she was disturbed by these calls because they were made while she was at work and she has a daughter at home that she does not want involved in anything like this. I agreed with her but I still stressed that I don't know who made the calls. Whoever made the calls gave her my full first and last name which makes me sound guilty of the charges but I am positive and without any doubts that I have never called this woman.
The story is rather long but i would appreciate it if you could let me know if i can win the case or not. I have a court hearing in Tampa to defend myself against a temporary restraining order being placed against me by a guy I had been seeing in Tampa for 10 years. I was in the process of ending the relationship but I did not before his wife found out. I received a call from his wife on a Sunday night and she said that I, my mother or aunt had been calling her job and home to tell her that he was in a relationship with me for many years. When I spoke with her I made it clear to her that I have never spoken with her,I have not spoken with my mother in months and my aunts are deceased. She told me that she was disturbed by these calls because they were made while she was at work and she has a daughter at home that she does not want involved in anything like this. I agreed with her but I still stressed that I don't know who made the calls. Whoever made the calls gave her my full first and last name which makes me sound guilty of the charges but I am positive and without any doubts that I have never called this woman.
I have an idea of who may have made these calls to her and she asked that I call her back if i can tell her who is doing this. I don't know if I should bring this up in court or not but her husband was also involved with another lady who called me on the night his wife found out exactly where he was and about our relationship. The previous Monday night, this other lady called me because the guy sent her a text message meant for me saying that he was on his way to see me. When she called me she asked if i had a physical address on him because she was putting a restraining order on him and I said I did not know where he lived. So she said she would look in the phone book. She also asked when was the last time I spoke with him and if I planned on seeing him anytime soon. I told her yes i was seeing him that night and I spoke with him earlier in the day.
She became furious and suggested taking off from her job and going down to his wife's job to tell her everything. I told her that was not a good idea but if he had been telling her that he is no longer seeing me anymore, we could confront him that night if she wanted to because at that point it was time for me to end things with him anyway. We were both going to confront him that night but all of a sudden his wife started calling him non stop. He said he had to leave because his wife somehow found out where he was.
I personally feel it could have been the other lady that did this. She is the only person that I know of that knows where his wife works, his home phone number and address which she said was in the telephone book in Tampa . She also knew exactly where he was when his wife kept calling him. It is a stretch to say she has impersonated me or my family members and called his wife alerting her to the relationship between me and her husband but that is the only person I know of that could have done this. My biggest mistake in this situation(besides being involved with her husband to begin with) was not being honest with her about me and her husband's relationship when she called me. I was so shocked to receive a phone call from her and even more shocked by the allegations that were being made against me that I denied having a relationship with her husband.
I sent her husband a text message the night she called asking what was going on and why was his wife calling me. I asked because I honestly did not know what is going on and why my name is being thrown around with false accusations. I even suggested that this other lady may have made these calls. He totally believes it was me that made the calls because his wife confronted him with my name and said it was me or someone in my family who has been calling her. He denies knowing the other lady at all. So he has filed a restraining order in Tampa accusing me of making harassing phone calls to his wife's job and home, driving past his home on several occasions, following him home one night, constantly text messaging him and denying the relationship between us.
I have some proof that he is lying about many things. I have a print out of my phone records from the past 2 months of all incoming and outgoing calls as well as all incoming and outgoing text messages to show proof of the relationship and that yes I constantly text messaged him and he did the same because we were in a relationship. The phone records will have the other lady's number on it if the judge in Tampa wants to call her and prove he is lying about not knowing her. And also to show that I have not called his home or his wife's job at anytime. I also want to show that no contact was made on my part since I had been served with the Tampa Restraining Order. I have all of his text messages, pictures and videos as well on my phone to show proof of the relationship. as far as following him home and him observing me driving by his home, these are just false accusations to try and add validity to his story. I have no idea where this man lives.
He has been calling my job and saying he is taking me to court in Tampa for harassing him. I have a statement from my coworker that has been notarized to give to the judge to keep him from contacting my place of employment. With the proof that I have, do I have a chance to win this case and get the Tampa Restraining Order thrown out or denied?
I am not a criminal defense attorney. My advice is my opinion only. I think your ex boyfriend got caught screwing around, and now is trying to save face with his wife by putting the blame on you!
ReplyDeleteKeep and show your phone records to the judge when you go to court in Tampa. This will clearly show a relationship existed between him and you.
Do NOT violate the temporary restraining order, whatever you do. Try and show the judge the cheater he was during your relationship.
remember, in a he said, she said case, it all comes down to credibility. I think the judge in Tampa will be reluctant to grant a restraining order to a cheater and a liar. I would still suggest you get a good criminal defense attorney for this hearing. The best time to fight a false restraining order in Tampa is at the first hearing, before it becomes a permanent injunction!
If he is successful in getting a permanent restraining order granted by the Tampa Judge, look out! All he has to do is lie, and say he saw you with a "witness" and you will be arrested, and taken to Orient Road Jail in Tampa!
It will be on your record forever!
Hello Chris, this is long as well. Please excuse the length.I spoke with you in July about a restraining order filed against me. I saw it on the blog and i appreciate your rapid response. I would like to update you if you don't mind. My ex withdrew his petition for a restraining order against me. Now, another situation has occurred that I would like some input on. I filed a lawsuit against him for slanderous comments which were verbally stated to the other female he was involved with as well as documented on the restraining order. I have a notarized statement from a co-worker in which she states that he called to tell her about the case as well. I am also suing him for the attorney fees that I had to pay to be represented and the mental anguish I had to suffer through to defend myself against false accusations on the restraining order. His response to my lawsuit against him was that he had a dr.’s appointment on the day of the trial and that is why he withdrew his petition against me.
ReplyDeleteMy argument is this: He withdrew his petition against me because once he found out that I did not tell his wife the truth about our relationship, he no longer had to find a way to prove to her that we were not involved. I want to show the courts how people use and abuse the justice system with restraining orders in order to dodge the responsibility of their own actions. On the day he attempted to get a TRO, he knew the date of the trial. That gave him 13 days to reschedule his appointment. Anytime he felt so threatened by my so called harassing and stalking that he went to a court house to request a restraining order and have me served at my home, job or school it should have also been just as important to show up to court. With that being said, I find his excuse insulting not only to myself but also to the justice system.
There was no basis for the restraining order and I want him held accountable for the lies he has told, which is where the slander charge is coming from. I have subpoenaed the other lady he was involved with as a witness to verify that he made slanderous comments to her about me. The attorney who represented me in the restraining order case will also be a witness to the mental anguish I had to suffer through during the case. Does this appear to be a case that I can win? Your response will be greatly appreciated.
Here in Tampa, you can sue someone in small claims court. However winning the case is a difficult matter. In a Civil Case, the standard for evidence is lower then in a criminal case. However, IMHO your case is going to be hard to prove. I totally understand your outrage and anger, I really do. My ex used the criminal justice system for her own ends, and got away with it. You won your case since he did not show up. If it were me, I would just let it go.
ReplyDeleteI think you face an uphill battle proving he was deceitful, even though we all know he was.
Hi, I am very impressed by your information here. I was looking for some information on the mailing order in the Tampa Florida but got here and really enjoy what you wrote about the relationship. Mail me if you have some more to say.
ReplyDeleteHello Chris, I live in Broward County Florida. In March of 2011, my mother attempted to get a restraining order against my husband. I will not go into all the details of her motives here as they would be very lengthy and describe a lifetime of mental instability on her part and abuse I suffered at her hands. In a nutshell, the immediate impetus for her restraining order attempt was my not talking to her for long periods of time and getting married without telling her. She retaliated by trying to hurt my husband and knew that a restraining order on his record would have serious repercussions in his line of work ( security clearance issues ). She admitted to me that she "wanted this on his record". She is not a very bright or educated woman and wrote a complaint that was inconsistent and ridiculous. She said that my husband "belly butted" her around her kitchen on two consecutive evenings. We hired an attorney to represent him and brought all our proof that this was lying. The judge let her speak first and people in the room snickered at her story. As the judge questioned her, she contradicted almost every fact she wrote in her complaint then changed her story that this happened only one evening, not two. The judge dismissed her complaint without our side having to say a word. We now want to at least sue her for our attorney's fees. My question is, does Florida allow for the award of attorney's fees to the prevailing party in a restraining order hearing? I have not been able to find this information anywhere. Also, are we still within the statute of limitations? We were thinking of filing a small claims case ourselves. We thought about a separate defamation case, but I suspect that would be quite an uphill battle. What also gets me is that when she signed her written statement she is acknowledging her story under penalty of purgery, yet when does anyone actually ever get charged with that? She flat out admitted she purgered herself right to the judge's face. Anyway, any info you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your Blog.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to our collective nightmare. You can't sue your mother for defamation, because the petition and what she said in court were privileged. Your attorney should have asked for attorney fees at the hearing, so I'd contact him/her regarding that issue. I'm suing my petitioner for abuse of process and malicious prosecution. You can look up your county's filing fees for small claims or circuit civil court. My petitioner lied in the judge's face also, and there were law students sitting in, trying hard not to snicker. We filed charges with the local prosecutor, and he did nothing. That same prosecutor has resigned and is under investigation, so we're filing our charges after the election in November. Good luck to you, and please, keep us posted.
DeleteI am really not well versed on Florida Law, as it applies to damages. You will need to ask an Attorney that question.
ReplyDeleteBut, I would sue her, just to watch her squirm. Make her life miserable, as she tried so hard to do to you. LOL, don't get mad, get even! Here in Tampa (Hillsborough County, Florida), you can sue in small claims court for up to 10 thousand dollars!
My vindictive EX had no money to get, so a lawsuit would have been a waste of time. She was successful at manipulating the legal system here, to ruin my good name.
So, I returned the favor! I turned her into the Florida Board Of Nursing, and guess what ? They found her to be addicted to drugs (narcotics and amphetamines), and to be mentally ill as well! Thanks to me, she will never be a Nurse again in Florida. I also published her new husbands criminal record (he was a witness against me) on the Internet, and made the apartment complex they used to live at aware he hid his criminal past from them!
My EX and him were forced to move.
I advocate using any non violent and legal ways you have, to fire back at those who do their best to make your life miserable, by manipulation of the legal justice system.
You were extremely fortunate a restraining order was not granted! A mentally ill person, armed with a Florida Restraining Order, can make your life more miserable then you can ever imagine!