LOL, I was talking with my 40 year old Son last week about the abuse of restraining orders and orders of protection, and he said "Dad, you baby boomers were all a bunch of abusive people, with little regard for the abuse of women"!

So, I played this video for him from 1980, all about an abused woman, who would deny the abuse when asked about it! 

Restraining Order Advice needed by Mom

My son and his X were divorced in Jan. of 2018. Included in the divorce dec

ree was an order for his X wife and him to continue to remain under the same roof and his X wife who was in real estate at the time was given permission to act as the agent to sell their home and split the proceeds. She also was to pay half the house payment for which she has not paid one dime. She is no longer in real estate and refuses to pay for or sell the housr.  She had her dad and brother staying in the home as visitors with residences in Michigan. The X,  the brother, and her father created a scenario which was played out as this: My son  arrived home from work and could not get in the house as the locks were changd. The father in law was across the street and came over to my son. My son told him to open  the door and the father in law punched  my son in the face causing them both to fall. My son had his hands full and the video on his phone was turned on. The brother came out and started stomping on my son's head and both the brother and father in law attempted to get the phone from my son's hands causing multiple contusions to his fingers. The father in law had a bruised cheek related to falling from the force of his punch. The police were called and by then my daughter had showed up per my son's phone call. The father in law lied e ground and when the police arrived he claimed he didn't remember anything as he was in Vietnam and has metal in his head. The brother just claimed to be a witness. Both my son and the father in law were arrested and taken to jail. My son was charged with a felony for hitting a senior citizen. Eventually all charges were dropped on both of them. So my son started sleeping at my house as he did not want anymore set ups especially with his 7 year old son in the house. In the mean time the father in law filed for a restraining order against my son with a list of lies including lying to the judge twice about his place of residence stating that he lived at my son's house. The judge never asked for proof of address as in a driver's license of anything. His license states his residence in Michigan. He also lied and claimed my son leaves bloody tissues in the shower from shooting up drugs between his toes. I know he leaves bandaids in the shower, but they are from warts he has on his fingers that he had been trying to remove with medication. He also claimed my son entered his own home 4 days in a row with his work truck yelling, throwing things and opening drawers.. Not true. So the restraining order was ordered by the judge regardless of him  having an attorney who was to busy texting on his phone during proceedings. It was issued for a year. So here my son is, not allowed to go to his own home for a year yet continues to pay the $1800.00 a month mortgage.  My son tends to let his X get away with so much evil because he doesn't want his son to witness the fighting. The father has since went back to Michigan and we are working on  getting the order dissolved. Last month his X was driving drunk with her minor child in the car for which she was pulled over and charged with DUO with a minor in the car. Wow! She had been withholding visitation to Eric and ignoring his calls and text. This is a another whole story in itself. Parental alienation at it's worse. Eric is not following through on anything and gets upset if I try to tell him something. I am sorry for making this so long, but your we  page really opened my eyes. Can you make any suggestions as what direction he needs to go in regard to this.  I really appreciate it as a mom who's heart is breaking watching this all unfold. Thank you very much.

Check it Out: Perjury’s Okay for Episcopal Clergy as Long as They’re Not Convicted

Recently, I again contacted the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia about Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s lies under oath. Among other things, he falsely stated under oath that my mother, or someone claiming to be her, contacted him repeatedly. This simply didn’t happen, and it should be an easy matter to pull emails or phone records to confirm that my mother, dying of COPD and very frail, never contacted Bob. Nor did anyone contact Bob claiming to be mom. It simply didn’t happen.

But rather than investigate, the diocese says it won’t touch the matter absent a criminal conviction. Guess that extends to rape, child abuse, robbery, embezzlement and murder. It’s all okay as long as there’s no conviction.

And for the record, nothing in church canons requires complainants to maintain confidentiality. But the diocese did violate church canons requiring that it withhold my identity to the respondent.

My takeaway: The Episcopal Church is seriously screwed up.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder

Hi,
I found your blog last July after my (now ex) girlfriend set up a scenario where she attempted to make me look abusive in public…and then had a guy there to run down and threaten to shoot me if I went near her. We had started to go kayaking that day. I love kayaking, but knew better than to get stuck on the water for a whole day with her—especially if she was in a bad mood. 

She had owned this kayak for about a year and I blew off her attempts to get me to go until last June. She had gone on this particular route with her roommate two weekends before and either enjoyed it. Or more likely, had scouted the area out to either have the crap beat out of me….or killed. She is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder co-morbidly. I know this because when we first got together she told me in confidence that her ex-husband had it. I realized later thatall the bad traits she projected on to him, were really things she hated about herself. 

We headed downriver and made it about 1000 yards, when I suggested that I call strokes so we didn’t paddle against each other. She replied, “that’s the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.” And right then,I knew that this day was going to be mierable. So I told her I was it was over, that I loved kayaking but hated her and would no longer tolerate her abuse. 

I paddled both of us back to the boat ramp where she proceeded to pull my life jacket and knock me off balance and onto her Then she screamed, “Go ahead! Do it! I date you!!!” I laguhed at her theatrics and replied “Do what” and then walked away to begin putting the kayak up on the shore. She drove that day, so after insulting me, berating me and throwing every possible invective at me she could muster up to no avail….she gave up on her plan and went to get the car. 

It was here that she either saw a man in the parking lot who had not seen what happened and told him I was abusing her…or he was a friend and already knew what he was supposed to do. 15 minutes after she had pulled me on top of her, he came running down swearing at me and telling me he would kill me. He said he was a police officer. I laughed at that suggestion because he looked like a dirty, sketchy meth addict. I grabbed an or and put the sharp end to his neck and held him back. She said nothing to stop the insanity or dissuade him from trying to hurt me. Instead she continued insulting me and trying to provoke me into doing something stupid.

They were unsuccessful and I had begun rolling video on my iPhone to document the situation (thank god). I have never been inclined to abuse my girlfriends ….ever. I was pissed. But not so pissed to realize that I was being set up. After the scene in the water,, I had the presence of mind to start recording video. Unfortunately,I had just turned it off when the guy came running at me and had to pick up a boat oar to fend him off. 

My ex-girlfriend ended up looked kinda stupid. And being NPD/BPD, looking like an idiot is something she cannot let go of. So she began to punish me. Of course I didn’t realize this was happening until I called her because my Social Security NUmber had been used fraudulently, strangely in 5 or so cities that she happened to have lived in in the past. I threatened to call the police in a voice mail. And not surprisingly, thenext day the sherriff of her county called me and told me she had filed for a restraining order.

The judge dismissed it. Burt not before I realized that my lawyer was doing her best to throw the proceeding in my ex’s fabor. The town that the ex lives in is small. The lawyer livers there so I had reservations and asked my lawyer if she knew my ex. She was greatly offended and informed me that would be a conflict of interest. Turns out my lawyer was the friend of my ex that I had never met in person. 

She promised that she would try to dissuade my ex from taking it to court, but kept asking for all my evidence that would smear my ex to use as ammunition. It never happened. I sent her a few things but nothing that would prove that my ex was an amateur porn “star” or a prostitute or a meth addict. I didn’t feel those things were appropriate and I also didn’t want my ex to know all of the dirt I had found by running a background check. 

My lawyer tried to torpedo me in court. But she failed and the case was dismissed. I left the courthouse after she made sure I was out the door so she could talk to my ex and her new boyfriend. I called the bar association in a nearby parking lot and then returned to get some things I had left in the building. I thought they would be gone, but as I pulled into the parking lot, she was in her van and her new boyfriend was walking to his car. I turned around and pulled up to her minivan and told her to enjoy my retainer and that she wasn’t worth a penny of the money. 

Now I’ve been given a restraining order and face a new case which has switched form civil to criminal court. No proof has been offered to date as to either the email or the voicemail they are using as evidence. Only her word. And even with those two pieces of evidence, I have not made a single threat to harm her. I only threatened to call the poiice about a crime she had commited with my social security card. I had to take an unplanned leave of absence from work and get some help with my anxiety. She has done her best to drive a wedge between me and my family….and she directed another friend of hers with Borderline Personality Disorder to get in a relationship with my best friend and to keep him from spending any time with me. I think the goal is to isolate me and smear my name so I will lose and be discredited before I can get the FBI and local police to investigate her crimes. So far it is working. 

My ex has used hundreds of aliases. Not sure which she used in your area. She has lived all over california, Florida, New York, Nebraska, Kansas and Las Vegas. I even found evidence she has  taken her shit-show as far as Sydney, Austraila. Supposedly she was sexually abused by nearly every man that she ever so much as looked at. Namely…her stepdad supposedly mollested her for years. Recently i believe that I have discovered that she ended up marrying him (or at least lived with and had kids with him.)  

Sorry to dump all this on you. You have dealt with enough. But I had to check this box before I went to trial in hopes of a hail Mary. We’ll see what happens.

Oregon Restraining Order Questions

This is a question from a reader in Oregon, please comment if you can offer any help.

I'm helping a friend contest a restraining order that his ex of just now a year is trying to renew for the 2nd year and get a stalking order/protection order against her.
 She has been catfishing him portraying herself to be someone else and making him think she is interested in dating him. They were in contact over messenger her contacting him trying to set up times and places to meet 
and every time he went he would run into his ex girlfriend the one that has the protection order against him, at the beginning she convinced him to exchange pictures,
 and exchanged sexual talk but he finally was realized after the 4th time of trying to meet up.
 and the ex showed again it has to be her catfishing. 
Another night she approached myself and his other friends slandering his name and causing a huge scene, 
the only way she would of known we were his friends is by her stalking his social media accounts. 
How does he protect himself from her? 
We have court on the Aug 4th,
 I had him fill out a stalking/protection order to present to the judge at the hearing. 
 hoping the order will be granted in his favor. 

Orange County Injunction Questions

Here are some questions from a reader, if anyone has any experience or advice to share with her.

My biological daughter has issued a temporary injunction against me. I live in Sarasota county and she lives in Orange County.  I need to speak to an expert when it comes to family law. My biological parents had adopted my daughter under extreme duress 16 years ago. 

I have been paying for it ever since. I appreciate any help or clarity. My parents have brainwashed my biological daughter and manipulated many things over the years. I moved away to get away from them it was only the past year that we all decide to forgive one another & start again. However, my daughter wants nothing to do with me. I only had reached out to her after my parents suggested I try a different approach. This approach has now landed me a court date on 8/27. 

The injunction of course is filled with coached material from my mother.  The confusing part is my parents and sister have stated they no longer were going to support my daughter's anger or enable her when everyone in the family has started over. I was told by my father just the other night my daughter will have to make a choice to forgive and move on; or she can make other arrangements for the holiday. 

I would appreciate any help. She is twenty and I seriously want her to be independent but this temporary injunction makes no sense. It is impossible to stalk her when I have a life in another county two hours away. I do not want to attend this court date by myself.  What is shocking that my mother and sister who I have talked to everyday for the past year provided private text messages to my daughter & a judge took it as apart of me stalking her which is so ridiculous. We are all family and I just do not get it. My dad refuses to be apart of this mess that my mom created.  My daughter is all over the internet from her youtube channel & instagram. I am not a stalker I am her biological mom & sister. I am 42 years old and I just want my life back to normal without any of this drama.  Thank you in advanced for reading and helping.

Restraining Order Blog is not meant to harass, directly or indirectly contact, harm, imtimidate, bring any emotional distress, stalk or cyberstalk, nor intentionally slander or damage any individual in any way. Nor is it intended to initiate any third party contact on behalf of any poster or author, or violate a current restraining order in any way. If you feel there is anything on our Restraining Order Blog that is slanderous, untrue, or illegal, please bring it to our attention. Our Restraining Order Blog Legal Staff will examine your request promptly, and any post you find offensive will be reviewed and possibly removed in a timely mannner

Father Lies To Get California Restraining Order

​Hello, 

I am writing to anyone and everyone to seek help and justice, I am a desperate mother and this is only part of my story. Unfortunately there are many more unbelievable facts...

My husband has taken his cruelty to a horrific level, he is using the legal system as a method of abuse against my children and I. I know for a fact that this is abuse, why no one has helped me yet I can't say BUT I do know one thing, I want to start a non profit for women and men in my situation because there is no help out there for us, the ones who are in the worst crisis and being looked at as the criminal and watching our abuser get away with what seems should be impossible. My children are both severely autistic and their human rights are being stripped from them as well as mine, their mother. My husband is extremely manipulative, so much in fact, that he appears calm and innocent but it is all just an act that took me 11 years to see through. He is very psychologically and mentally abusive, and no one will help me yet. My husband has 2 brothers  who are active human sex traffickers and many other criminal activities. My name is Alicia and I have 2 wonderful autistic children ages 2 and 10, boy and girl. My son is Alexander and my daughter Vanessa and they are my life and I have not seen them in a month because their father lied to police to get a restraining order. I lost everything and now am trying my best to trust God and that he has a plan but right now I am in complete darkness. I need an attorney to help and I found a little help from a lawyer in Sacramento but I am really struggling more than anyone should have to. I lost my children, husband, home, job, everything I own, my well being and I didn't do anything wrong at all. He has had me taken in on 2 5150 calls and he lied about all of it and I can prove it but am very scared of specking in the room when he is there. He has been extremely psychologically abusive to myself and my children and I struggle to speak clearly and not stutter when in the courtroom with him. If you can help me in any way possible I would be forever indebted. I don't deserve this, no one does. 

Thank you​

​

Alicia De'Coligny

Victimized By Florida Restraining Order

Hello

I'm being victimized in the same way as the blog mentions my wife lied to get into shelter and had painted me as an abuser when she's never been abused ever in her life. They pressured her to file a Florida restraining order with promise of $1500 which she did it to get this money but now can't text or call me

Any help how to deal with this please contact me - it seems the government is against me based on her word alone and prevents me from talking to my spouse to work out the marital problems and uses its taxpayer funds to help her when she is not in any real need - it's like an innocent man trying to go against a system that is above the law and the injustice is rampant with no recourse for the innocent man like myself... 

I feel like I'm the victim in this whole thing being victimized by the shelter and system that's above the law and is funded by tax dollars with no checks to see if the woman's telling the truth just believe whatever lie she tells to give her benefits and free legal help etc when I have to hire lawyer to defend myself etc and they prevent married people from working out their issues because you aren't allowed to speak to your spouse etc instead they should offer counseling to try to save marriages - this is Florida it's happening to me in and they claim to be family friendly state - bs 

If anyone has any help please post something here for me

Harassment Restraining Order Questions

Hello,

Please consider adding my post to your blog,  I'm hoping to get answers, 

I'm in the midst of a restraining order hearing- I am the respondent,

The Petitioner is filing a case against me not for threats, but instead for sending emails to get my property back-

The petitioner blocked my email address, phone number and dropped me from social media.

I wrote several emails, nothing in them was threatening or made any type of accusations, or were disrespectful in any way, actually they were very nice, asking to meet up to get my property back.  The Petitioner has claimed the emails were blocked and were deposited directly into a SPAM folder, now is opening the folder and claiming the peace of mind is interrupted, and its harassing to get the emails.

That is it-  nothing more- and I think the Judge is also wondering where the harassment is- but is anyone familiar with cases that were dismissed becasue the Petitioner claiming harassment because of emails they DID NOT get, but opened later on?

I look forward to any possible comments, how will I know if anyone responds to a blog post?

Recovering Addicts Share 'Mind-Blowing' Stories About Not Being Judged

Recovering Addicts Share 'Mind-Blowing' Stories About Not Being Judged

Going to rehab can be a scary thing for an addict — even one who desperately wants to get better. When you come clean about your lifestyle and put it out there in the open, it’s hard to imagine that people won’t be judging you at every turn. This likely puts a lot of people off from getting the help that they need, but fortunately those that make the leap to rehabilitation tend to find that there is a lot less judgment than they expect.

Christy, a recovering addict, needed to go through some difficult emotions and deep, personal issues before getting the help she needed. She’d had an affair and felt she had neglected her children, and she felt a great deal of shame. She had a hard time finding someone to talk to without fear of judgment until she went to rehab. 

“I was able to open up about it,” she told me. “I guess I thought that everybody would think I was a horrible mother and wife. But nobody judged me; these people have done bad things too. They’re not here to judge me. They accepted me. They hugged me and told me it was OK while I was crying and admitting things.”

Zach, who recently reached his first year of sobriety, told me he felt “empty and alone” when he first arrived at rehab.

“I was ashamed of myself, I felt guilty, and I didn’t think anyone else was going through what I was going through. I had a wife and kids, other people I was responsible for. I thought I’d go there and have people judging me. But it was mind-blowing when I got there. I’ll never forget when I first got to my treatment facility. I had just gotten out of my intake with the nurse, and she introduced me to someone. He said, ‘Hey, friend! What are you here for?’ And I told him. He said, ‘Don’t be ashamed — we’re all addicts here!’ That’s something that’s always stuck with me.

“I didn’t think anyone else had ever been where I was in life, or would be able to relate to anything that was going on in my head,” he added. “That was also a big part of why I didn’t hide out in my room. People would walk by me and introduce themselves when I first got there, and it was still kind of overwhelming because I was still withdrawing. It was mind-blowing how people really connected with me without even talking to me, and just knowing what was going through my head just by me being there.”

“It felt great,” said Jeff about his experience at the Treehouse, an Addiction Campuses facility in Texas. “The wall I had built kind of started to come down. It was beautiful because here I was with a bunch of strangers, but yet in some form or fashion, I could relate to every single one of them. You don’t have to feel like you’re being judged or you're going to let anyone down. There’s no reason to feel guilt or any shame. It was only supportive. It was very freeing.

“It was especially helpful being able to unload all of my thoughts and all of my baggage having been such an isolated user, and having people tell me, ‘I’ve felt that exact same thing.’ I felt like I was the only one — in the billions of people that have ever lived — who had ever had this problem to this degree. But of course that’s not true. And a lot of people have it a lot worse.”

Jeff was struck by how people were not forced into interaction and the freedom that was allowed.

“I learned more from my fellow addicts than I learned from anybody there,” he recalled. “It was a beautiful experience and I’m very grateful to have taken part in it. ...

“It showed me that it doesn’t have to be that hard,” he added. “It’s all about being honest — you’ve got to be honest with yourself and you’ve got to be honest with others, and that’s hard. It’s especially hard to be honest with yourself. It was amazing taking a step back and looking at what I’d done and being able to forgive myself and ask for forgiveness without dwelling on it. You’ve just got to let it go. My fellow addicts helped me to do that with their stories. I didn’t expect any of that to come out of it.”

Scott, another recovering addict, shared some interesting perspective as someone who helps others through a commitment group. He stands in front of groups and opens meetings. He called himself the “face of the meeting”.

“The one thing you don’t want to do is come across as preaching, because not everyone is ready,” he explained. 

“You don’t judge, because you’re not there to judge,” he told me. “When people talk at the podium, you don’t judge and you don’t compare — you’re just trying to identify. You don’t listen to someone speak and say, ‘I didn’t do that, so that must not be true.’ You have to identify and not compare. If I compared myself to others, I probably wouldn’t be sober.”

“Everybody goes through traumas and dramas and has had things happen that brought them to where they are now,” said Lincoln, who hit his first year of sobriety this past summer. “But no matter what you’re going through, somebody has been through it before you, and somebody was able to get past where you are now. A lot of people think their problems are too much for any one person to handle. But just because someone has a smile on their face every day doesn’t mean they haven’t been through tough times. That’s the benefit of having AA and support meetings — once you walk in, you already know those people have had the problems you’ve had. No one is judging you. ...

“I’ve done a lot of really wrong things in my life — not because I was raised to be that way, but just through using and wanting to get my next fix,” Lincoln admitted. “I was blown away being at the podium and speaking to groups and not being judged. I talked to my father for the first time in a year and told him I was remorseful for the things I had done, but it was hard to be sorry — if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

“Everybody has a past. Nobody cares about the past. To me, the past is a non-issue. You can’t judge someone on their past. If we’re judging someone on their past mistakes, no one will get out alive. I like to think, ‘What are you doing now to make yourself better for tomorrow?’”

Lincoln’s words of wisdom really are the key to sobriety. It’s important to be honest, but you can’t dwell on the past. It’s all about making things better, and it’s amazing how much support these recovering addicts have managed to find when they put in the effort to make that improvement a reality.

Wrestler Arrested In Hillsborough County Florida For Domestic Violence

I just saw this on the news, and it is important to reserve judgement until this Hillsborough County Man has had his day in court. It really is a sad situation when 2 people are trying to talk out their problems w/o getting the Police involved that a person can be arrested and charged with a Felony for "Tampering with a witness". In fact, the penalty for "Tampering with a witness" is much more severe then the penalty for actually hitting a person in a Domestic Violence incident. I guess the Police here in Hillsborough County Florida value a witness who can testify and make a case against someone more then a victim who has been beaten. Imagine a Man and his wife have an argument, they both scream at each other, and the wife goes to call the Police. The Man, not wishing to have his neighbors see the Police come to their home, simply grabs the phone from his wife. That simple act of not allowing his irrational wife to call the police will get you charged with a Felony here in Hillsborough County Florida. And, get this, it matters not if the domestic violence charges are proven to be untrue and dismissed in Court or not. Here is the story below of The Wrestler Known As Adam Rose, Who Was Arrested Here In Hillsborough County Florida For Domestic Violence. Hillsborough County deputies arrested WWE star Raymond Leppan Wednesday. Leppan, 36, is charged with domestic battery and preventing the victim from contacting law enforcement. Leppan is known as Adam Rose. Deputies said he engaged in a verbal argument with the victim about marital problems at a residence in the 18000 block of Sparrows Nest Drive. Leppan “grabbed the victim on each side of her face with his hands and pulled her face close to his while he screamed at her,” deputies said. When the victim called 911, Leppan allegedly took the phone away so she couldn’t report the incident. “The defendant admitted to taking the phone away from the victim so she could not report the incident,” deputies said. The WWE released the following statement: “Raymond Leppan (a.k.a. WWE Superstar Adam Rose) was arrested at his home this morning by the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office in Tampa, Fla. According to a police report, Leppan was taken into custody and booked on alleged charges of tampering with a witness, a felony, and battery domestic violence, a misdemeanor. He is currently being held without bond. WWE has zero tolerance for matters involving domestic violence, and per our policy, Raymond Leppan has been suspended indefinitely following his arrest.”