Pasco County Florida Domestic Battery

Our blog is against the misuse and abuse of restraining orders. But in the story below, it is alleged by the Pasco County Sheriffs Department that this person beat his father. Why was he only charged with domestic battery, and not felony assault and battery ?  When the police arrived, the father was bleeding, and was hit 15 times. Under Florida law, striking a person multiple times is supposed to be a Felony!  This alleged parent beater get IMHO a slap on the wrist, and a paltry 250.00 bond! Yet people who are in Love sometimes violate a restraining order with no violence at all, and get upgraded to stalking charges, with no bond


Man, 27, beat his dad …… for not cooking his dinner

A man upset his parents didn’t cook dinner for him was arrested Saturday morning after beating his father, according to the Pasco Sheriff’s Office.
About 12:25 a.m. Saturday, Kevin Michael Reyes, 27, confronted his parents at their 15055 Lancer Road home in Spring Hill. Reyes, who lives with his parents, said he was “starving” and was upset no one had cooked dinner for him.
Reyes began to argue with his father, Tim Thomas, when he attacked him, deputies said. Thomas said he believes he was punched 15 times in the face with a closed fist and after being pushed to the floor, was kicked several times.
An arrest report said Thomas, 40, was bleeding from the right side of his face as a result of the fight.
Reyes, who remains in custody at the Land O’ Lakes Jail, told deputies he blacked out and doesn’t remember beating his father. He’s charged with domestic battery. Bail is set at $250.

Manhattan Restraining Order Questions

I just received an Email from a reader of this Blog.
He is seeking our advice on what to do about a temporary order of protection In New York City he did not ask for. The 2 incidences occurred in Manhattan he says, and his information must be complete, so he can obtain a Gun Permit.
I am not familiar with the NYC or Manhattan Legal System. I was hoping one of our readers could help him track down the TPO information..

I came across your site while trying to find information on restraining orders in NYC
I was a peace officer in NYC for five years (unarmed but with full arrest powers) I was assigned to several different shelters in the city and we made a good amount of arrests during this 5 years, most were misdemeanors but some were felonies. Make a long story short I was twice assualted while making the arrest. Both guys were "bad" guys just released from prison and with no where to go ended up in the shelters. 
When I arrested these indiviuals I was assualted and the district attorney's office gave me an order of protection in both cases. I did not request the TPO but I received it anyway. I do not remember the guy's name or even the arrest dates but they both took place in Manhattan between 1998 - 2000. 
Now I recently went to apply for a NYC pistol license and right there on the paperwork is questions about restaining orders. I need to find out all of the information about the TRO issued to me for the application. I do not know where to go to find out the info.
Is there a web site or number I can call?
Thanks for any help you can offer

Questions About Restraining Order


It is our policy to publish letters we get asking questions about restraining orders, if the sender gives us permission. We do change the names a bit, to protect a persons right to privacy.
Here is a letter we just received, seeking advice.


Hello,

My name is _  and I have a situation I need guidance with. My friend, Rob, was served with a restraining order on 7/12/2012 by his baby's, Clayton, mother. She served this to him for the second time to retrieve her son. She is under investigation with CPS for drug abuse and failing to be able to take care of her 1 year old son, Clayton. She received this restraining order by stating Rob pulled a gun on her, during a fight they had back on 5/9/2012 where she hit him. That DV case was dropped because my friend Rob failed to stand up in court. She falsified information in there regarding who should have custody of Clayton. My friend Rob just handed Clayton over to her without even calling the police. So, now she has Clayton with her and Rob has a restraining order, and up until last night, I was supposed to be restrained from going within 500 feet of her or Clayton, but the King County Sheriff said their copy does not have my name written in it at all and there is nothing about giving Clayton to her for custody. The first restraining order she filed said Rob was sneaking around her back yard with a gun and she was scared for her, and her children's lives. When she tried to pull this again by taking Clayton with that restraining order, Rob called the police. The police said she lied and the restraining order does not enforce that Clayton goes to her and she should take it to court. Where she showed up late and the restraining order was thrown out.  I am unsure what to do, I called last night for a well child check on Clayton because of some information I got from her neighbor. Which turned up nothing, because no one was home. 

Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. I am not sure what to do, I am not his mother, but I still love him.  He can't fend for himself, and my friend Rob is beside himself as to what to do.





Stalking In America

Every American wants Romance and Love, and most of us will do anything to save our failing relationships. All of our lives we are bombarded with mixed messages of how to have a relationship, and win someone's Love. Unfortunately, when Big Brother gets involved, the things that worked before, like sending a box of Candy or Flowers, or apologizing in Person, can get you arrested for Stalking!
It is only Human Nature when you Love someone, to try and find out and fix what you perceive to be wrong with the relationship. You might even ask some mutual friends what they think went wrong with the relationship. This can get you arrested for third party contact, if a restraining order is in place. Do it twice here in Tampa Florida, and you qualify for Stalking! Now, do it 3 times, and guess what ?
You are now eligible for Felony Stalking!

Unconsciously, many of us are conditioned to become Stalkers, w/o our knowledge. Many Love Stories in our Literature are full of heroic efforts by one partner, to win the Love of another.

Before we get in music about Stalking, here is a quote from our friend Kevin about stalking.

"I'm pretty sure the reason stalking incidents have gone up so significantly is because the definition of stalking has changed. Twenty years ago, if you broke up with someone and they tried to get you back, sending you flowers, candy, calling unexpectedly, showing up at your house or work, that was just called romantic. Look at the movie "Say Anything" for example, the famous ghetto blaster scene. By today's standards the dude would be arrested. Now a days if you ask a woman out twice you could get tagged as a stalker.

This is not to say there aren't real incidents of obsessive stalking. You hear about it in the news all the time. I know a few women who it's happened to and it's seriously creepy. But I'm sure most of the incidents reported are simply ordinary run-of-the-mill jilted lovers who take a few weeks to realize the five year relationship is really over. And of course in our paranoid culture, these incidents are red-flagged as stalking. I guess what I'm saying is that I doubt there's been an increase in stalking lately. It's just that there's a name and a stigma for it now. There's also been a dramatic increase in fines for failure to wear a seatbelt in the past 30 years, mostly because it wasn't considered a crime in the past.

By this modern definition, pretty much any break-up song is a stalker song. Anyone who's ever loved someone deeply enough and is not over it the instant the relationship ends, calling, begging, pleading, holding onto hope, is a stalker. Situations like this should be differntiated from the obsessive, creepy, violent, intrusive kind of stalking that's the real problem in today's culture. If this were the case, I'm sure the numbers would be far less than 8%."

Just my opinion.

-Kevin





Let's examine some of these Songs about Stalking (most were number 1 Hits!)

In the video below, he is Stalking the girl he loves.


Here is a Country Singer Clay Aiken talking quite clearly about Stalking in the video below!



Let's not forget about our friend Sting who used to be with the Police, before he went Solo, LOL
If he did the Stalking he advocates in this song, he would be with the Police again, but in Handcuffs this time, Listen to the words, and remember this song, and the ones posted above, were all big hits!



Here is a recent song about Stalking In America by Lady Gaga. It shows that Women must have Stalking thoughts too, because in the song she says she will follow and chase her man down until he Loves her.


Our Songs are full of references to simple persistence, that can now be called Stalking. Here is one from my generation. I was 13 when this song came out.


Or this one by (Gasp) a very pretty woman, Debbie Harry of Blondie!  She says in the song she will drive past his house, to see who's around! This was a huge number one hit, back in the day. The words to this song are sung very clearly.
Lets look at some of the lyrics in this song,  she is talking about Stalking and Murder!
I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I'll see who's around



And if the lights are all out
I'll follow your bus downtown
See who's hanging out



I'll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd



I really like this song. I used to dance to is a lot, back in the early 80's. But that doesn't mean I can't recognize a stalker song when I hear one. This starts as a song about wanting to be with someone and seems to turn into a kidnapping. Ouch!



You are an obsession, I cannot sleep
I am a possession unopened at your feet
There is no balance, no equality
Be still I will not accept defeat

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

CHORUS
You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me
[repeat]

I feed you, I drink you by day and by night
I need you, I need you by sun or candlelight
You protest, you want to leave
You say there's no alternative

Your face appears again, I see the beauty there
But I see danger, stranger beware
A circumstance in your naked dreams
Your affection is not what it seems

CHORUS

My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling, I have no control

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you


Pauly Perrette Restraining Order Coyote Shivers

I don't watch TV, except for The History Channel and Football. I did not even know who Pauly Perrette was before this letter I received, or that she had a Restraining Order against her ex husband Francis "Coyote" Shivers. I do not know her ex husband either, or his new wife. The abuse of Restraining Orders has long been a topic we write about on this Blog. I am not taking sides in any of this between Coyote Shivers and Pauly Perrette.
I think our readers may be interested to follow this high profile restraining order violation and stalking case.
We welcome Pauly Perrette to tell our readers her version of this restraining order violation story, to be fair to her.
 Here is the email we received from Coyote Shivers

Hello,

I saw your blog, and wanted to alert you to my case.  I have been the victim of Restraining Order abuse committed by the most famous False Accuser in America.  I do not have time to explain the entire case in writing, but I ask you to please see the links here and educate yourself about the case.  I believe it is sufficiently high-profile (and provably false, although I cant divulge exactly why prior to trial) that if enough attention was placed on this case it could possibly be a catalyst to changing laws.


Here is my wife and I swarmed by paparazzi after I was let out of jail recently on $100,000.00 bond:  youtu.be/hhMpEgpgFe4

And here is the website to follow the case:  www.FreeCoyoteShivers.com


Again, I can't divulge what we have to use at trial, but I personally guarantee you that VIDEO will prove this very famous person lied to get a Restraining Order, and that she is USING the Order as a weapon to stalk me and my wife.

Thank you for your time,
Francis Shivers



I just did the Google search a poster below suggested, and came up with conflicting information. I have no horse in this race. I am only interested in this case as to how it may or may not effect restraining orders, and their enforcement.
I found this, in support of Pauley Perrette's position. In the interest of fairness, I am posting it.


TV Actress Pauley Perrette's Endless Nightmare Divorce
from FOX NEWS



You may not know the name Pauley Perrette right away, but if you watch CBS primetime, you know her face. She’s the attractive, spunky actress who plays Abby Suito on “NCIS,” starring Mark Harmon.
Abby is known for her high level of intelligence and playful energy, but in real life, the actress who plays her has been going through hell.


The reason is her ex-husband, 41-year-old Canadian Francis “Coyote” Shivers, a sometime musician and part-time club disc jockey who Perrette claims has been harassing her for the last two-and-a-half years, after almost four years of marriage.


Shivers — who according to court documents has many aliases, including Paul Edwards and Frank Keber — didn’t start his reign of terror with Perrette. His second-most recent ex-wife, Bebe Buell, who lives in Maine, has been inundated with a mountain of false police reports, invented complaints and restraining orders for years — all of which came after she told Shivers to leave and try to find work in Los Angeles in 1998.
“Instead, he found Pauley,” Buell says. “His next meal ticket.”


According to both women, Shivers stalked them and inflicted upon each of them endless mental distress. They each claim he terrorized them sexually during their respective relationships. When they compared notes, Buell and Perrette found that their situations, in fact, were eerily the same.


The women say Shivers, who denies everything, has been clever in his manipulation of the court system, too.
“He uses Family Court as his arena to harass women," Perrette alleges. "There’s no link between Family Court and Criminal Court. So he can commit perjury. He can put illegally gotten e-mails and false declarations into the court record. There’s no penalty for it.”


In 1999, once he was established in California, Shivers got a restraining order against Buell, even though she was 3,000 miles away and hadn’t seen him in a year.


Buell opted not to fight it, since she wasn’t going west, and eventually it expired. But she says her total costs in battling Shivers’ legal haranguing have now spiraled into the high five figures.


Perrette didn’t want her story to become public — “I didn’t want to be attached to him in the press,” she says — but once another alleged victim of Shivers came forward, she felt she had no choice.


In July, one of Shivers’ former girlfriends, Angela Garber, filed a complaint against him in Los Angeles Superior Court for assault, battery, sexual battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress.
But Garber waited two years to see an attorney after the alleged incidents, which is why the Los Angeles Police Department never took the case, I’m told.


“He threatened her if she ever talked to anyone,” Perrette said. Eventually, Garber contacted Buell, who put her in touch with Perrette.


Garber’s charges, which are on public record, are frightening if proved to be correct. They include several episodes of rape and sodomy, not to mention descriptions of Shivers locking her in car trunks or just plain hitting her.


At least one of these episodes occurred in Perrette’s house, only hours after she left. Shivers, in his court-filed response, denies all these charges. He claims that all these women are in collusion against him and even claims that they stalked him.


Full disclosure: I knew Shivers slightly in the mid-1990s when he was married to Buell and living in New York, although I haven’t seen him in at least eight years. Then around 32 years old, he fancied himself a rock star, although his only means of support was the occasional gig at tiny rock clubs in the East Village. His income was almost wholly derived from his marriage to Buell, who was then managing the career of her daughter, actress Liv Tyler.


When I heard four months ago that Shivers was making Perrette's life miserable, I went to visit her at her recently regained Hollywood home. According to Perrette, when she filed a restraining order against Shivers during their divorce, the judge in the case gave her two options:
“I could either have a restraining order or live there with him. Because of my fear of him, I left. I grabbed my two dogs, my cat and my laptop and I ran.”


For almost two years, Perrette has fought Shivers in court for the old rambling house she’d bought with her relatively small TV salary (she’s fifth-listed in billing on "NCIS"). When she finally took it back — after paying Shivers to leave a house he never owned or had title to, she says — Perrette says the place had been vandalized. There was writing and drawing on the walls and damage to pretty much every room.
“Rat and mice feces were all over the floor,” she says.


At a friend’s apartment where she was staying just down the hill, Perrette told me of her nightmare trying to get away from Shivers.


She detailed an unending series of harassments, including Shivers’ penchant for hacking into her computer — something she and Buell realized they had in common — and leaving thousands of notes on small pieces of yellow paper.


While we were talking, Perrette turned over a standing ashtray, and a yellow missive fell out.
“I thought I got the last of them,” she said, “but they are everywhere.”


She said the notes almost always carried threats written in the third person, like “Do not betray him.”
Shivers would leave confetti cut into heart shapes, she said, copied from a tattoo they’d both gotten long ago (and she has since had removed).


Perrette points out that the vandalism seems to be tied to the physical abuse. In Garber’s complaint, she alleges that Shivers branded the letter “C” into her back while she was tied to a chair. Perrette found the same branding all over her house.


Over the last two years, Perrette, Buell and several of Shivers’ other accusers have bonded. It's ironic, since it was Perrette’s signature on a complaint that secured a restraining order against Buell a few years ago.
Perrette claims that she knew nothing about it, and that her name was forged.


“I told Bebe she’s a really crappy stalker,” Perrette says with a rueful laugh. “She should try something else. In eight years I’ve never met her! She’s obviously not good at it!”


Perrette herself got a restraining order against Shivers in late 2004, which has been renewed several times. Nevertheless, she says, “Every bit of vandalism in my house is a violation of the restraining order. The restraining order states, among other things, no harassment, no leaving notes, etc. He destroyed my house, [and] that is as harassing as it gets.”


The next renewal hearing comes in November.


“My whole goal was to be able to work in television and film and maintain a normal life, never be in a tabloid. I was clean as snow. And now there’s this guy. And I find myself in the middle of a horror movie I didn’t audition for.”


Efforts to reach Shivers’ most recent attorney of record, Barbara J. Youngman, were frustrated by the lack of a phone listing anywhere, even in legal directories.


The inability to nail Shivers down and see him prosecuted for anything so far has been his accusers' biggest frustration.Perrette says many visits to the police have yielded no help.


“I’ve filed several police reports for violation of restraining order. He’s shown up at events he wasn’t invited to, and claimed I was stalking him. I reported the vandalism. I’ve been working with the Threat Management Unit, which is supposed to work on stalking cases.”


There have been no results so far. Why?
“That’s the question,” she says. “No one knows. Two different police officers and one lawyer told me I should have stayed and let him break my arms.”


Perrette recently turned to famed Los Angeles private investigator John Nazarian for help.
“I saw that he worked with the unit. You know, I love cops and I wanted to work well with them. His logo is 'Make Your Problem My Problem.' I feel like he’s working on this 24 hours a day so I can do my job. And I love my job.”


Nazarian says that after dealing with many celebrity stalkers, Shivers — who, we must add, denies it all — may be the worst. Perrette agrees.


“I’m the only thing standing between him and his next victim,” she says. “The three of us,” she adds, “fear for our lives 24 hours a day. We’re always looking over both shoulders.”

Massachusetts Restraining Order Questions


Here is a letter we got from a guy I shall not name, who has some questions about Massachusetts Restraining Orders.





Hi I was on your blog and my wife took out a bogus restraining order out against me in MA. She got caught cheating for the third time and we had an agreement that if it happened again that she would move out voluntarily and she did initially. She came back to the house and knocked on the door and asked if we could talk about the kids. When I stepped outside she asked if she could move back in. I said "that was not part of our agreement". Then she asked if I would move out and I said no. She then proceeded to leave and in about an hour or so the police showed up at my residents and told me I had 5 minutes to vacate the premise.
  When we went to court she lied and said I pushed her out and locked the door and that she was in fear of her life. The next thing I know I am out of my house for a year. To make a long story short a year later she asked for another year extension to the restraining order. I figured there is no way in the world it could happen again because I had no contact with her. She told the Judge that I called her on my sons cell phone and threatened her and that if the judge did not extend my restraining order then they will find her dead. She told the judge the only reason she is alive is because of the restraining order. I told the judge I have had no contact with her and have done everything to the letter of the law. She then told the Judge that I held a knife to her belly and told her that I was going to kill her and cut her open and gut her like a pig and put her body in turtle pond and that I did this in front of my children The judge said to her "he this in front of your children?" and she said yes. I had the transcript tape from the hearing transcribed and my kids are 16 years of age and 14 and are more than willing to testify that their mothers statements are lies.; I want this restraining order vacated. We are going through a divorce and hired a gal. My attorney asked the GAL to ask my children if I have ever threatened my wife or if I have ever touched or if I ever held a knife to her belly and say that I was going to cut her open and gut her like a pig. They said NONE of these things ever happened and its in the GAL report.
 
1. Should I file a motion with the court to vacate the order.
 
2. Can I bring the GAL report to prove she lied to extend her already bogus restraining order.
 
3. Can I bring my kids to the motion to testify that their mother is lying.
 
 
The Gal report now recommends that I be granted physical custody of my kids. My wife took my kids away from me for a year and a half and I could only see then every other weekend and once a week. At the temporary orders hearing a year and a half ago the Judge said he was not going to overturn the district courts decision that gives mother temporary custody. I missed my own daughters bat Mitzvah because of this bogus restraining order. My soon to be x-wife has done things that most people would never believe and because of this bogus restraining order my kids have been exposed to her BDSM lifestyle which is a whole other story in itself. I believe woman should be protected but when a woman pulls a bogus restraining order to get a tactical advantage in a divorce and if it is proven she lied to obtain it then they should be punished by the court. I would love to hear back from others for some good advise. I would hire an attorney but I have spent all my money in divorce proceedings.
 
 

Facebook Restraining Order - South Africa

Looks like South Africa has Restraining Orders that can be used for what one does on Facebook ? Here is a letter from a reader we received.

 Hi Chris, This story ran on a national basis in South Africa. In a nutshell two girls tried to set a guy up with a restraining order because he threatened to "remove one of them as a friend on Facebook". The story went unchalleneged from a legal point of view and has forced an overhaul of how magistrates and the police process these orders in South Africa. I am based in Namibia but this story found it's way up to us. There has been widespread abuse of these restraining orders in South Africa and yet few men are prepared to alk about them in the public arena. This guy seems to have just dealt with it head on! Enjoy the article it really is one spicy story.Gill The link to the local blog that ran the story is: http://www.imod.co.za/2012/02/27/domestic-violence-order-for-facebook-unfriend-threat/

 The characters pictures are: I have cut and pasted the text for you below: When mild-mannered Bishops old boy Colin Chaplin told his friends that the surprise domestic-violence order the police had served on him at work was obtained by a woman he’d threatened to unfriend on Facebook, many found it hard to believe – there had to be a more serious reason. Even more bewildering to the 36-year-old Chaplin is that the purported victim – a woman with whom he’d “shared a kiss or two” in the space of a week, years ago – said she’d been advised to seek the order by his ex-girlfriend, well-known Cape Town attorney Lauren Fine. The spurned friend is fashion designer Danielle Vermaas, who uses the professional name of Danielle Margaux. Two years after his flirtation with Vermaas, Chaplin hooked up with Fine. Their six-month relationship ended amicably, he thought, in July last year. “I just want you to know that I have done a search on you and I’m very anxious because you and my ex-girlfriend have several Facebook friends in common.” The ease with which strangers can connect through mutual friends on Facebook – and the painful consequences for Colin Chaplin – are what prompt his anxious first words when he meets with Noseweek at a restaurant in Newlands, Cape Town. Although lawyer-talk first alerted Noseweek to the story, it took some sleuthing to identify Chaplin, and then numerous emails through an intermediary, to set up this meeting. Noseweek had been tipped off that two of Chaplin’s exes – Lauren Fine, a one-time ballerina and now a partner in a top Cape Town law firm, and Danielle Vermaas, a local designer who goes by the name of Danielle Margaux – had purportedly teamed up to have a Domestic Violence protection order slapped on him, on charges that were patently without substance. A domestic violence order is no trivial thing but lawyers, policemen and even magistrates have all contributed to trivialising it. (See editorial in this issue). Fine and her partners at well-known law firm Bernadt, Vukic, Potash and Getz have since been briefed about the facts of the case, but have refused to meet the victim of the outrage. Chaplin finally agreed to see Noseweek as a last resort in a system that has failed him. “I’ve exhausted every avenue to clear my name,” he says. After matriculating at Bishops, Chaplin went to England where he obtained an LLB (Hons) from the University of Buckingham. Back in Cape Town, he has for some years been working in the property development industry. His story: “Several years ago I met a girl called Danielle Vermaas at a dinner party. We became friends and kissed once or twice, but nothing serious happened between us. It was a very brief fling. I did not take it seriously from a romantic point of view. Quite simply, she is not my sort of woman. “After that and during early 2009, we remained friends. She’d sometimes visit me at my parents’ home and became very fond of my mother.” Might Vermaas have been under the impression they were in an exclusive relationship? “No. It was just a fun friendship,” Chaplin stresses. During the first half of 2009, Vermaas started “getting weird”, says Chaplin: sending him numerous emails, phoning regularly, and constantly sending Facebook messages. “[As a fashion designer], she would make me clothes, invite me to functions, cook food and show up at my flat with it, unannounced. I always turned her down. “In a nutshell, she was in love with me. I kept saying, I’m not interested. Basically, I was just trying to say f-off.” Towards the middle of 2009, Chaplin says he decided to start putting some “serious distance” between himself and Vermaas. He produces Facebook messages sent to him by Vermaas to demonstrate the point: On 15 March 2009 at 11.07pm: Hi there! How are you? I am lying in my bed and thinking…I miss you and miss having you in my life and I would love to have you back in it…I do have a lot of issues, I know, and I suppose I am a difficult woman at times…In the same breath, I could have made the biggest tit out of myself now, because you might have met someone else…Deep down inside I hope you miss me as much as I miss you!…I don’t want you to feel that I am pressurising you… On 21 April 2009: Hallo Col, you must think I am crazy…I just read the mail I sent you on Sunday and it was a bit intense…It feels like my life is falling apart … On 13 July, 2009: Col, I don’t understand why you don’t answer my emails. Have you thought about what I said? I really think we’d be great together. Later that day Chaplin replies: Hi Danielle, I feel we keep going over this. I think you keep misreading my friendship. I like you as a person but am just not interested in going out with you. Please just accept this as you are making things awkward. Colin. On 18 July, 2009, Vermaas writes: You are obviously very angry with me and have decided not to contact me at all. I, on the other hand, am not a person of a few words, as you very well know and have decided to mail you, because I know you won’t even pick up the phone if I try to call you. I should probably just let you be, but…I have gotten used to spending time with you… You always say I am needy. Perhaps, but it is because I feel like the outsider in your life, the one you keep at a distance… You’re probably thinking I’m some sort of psycho chick and that I keep contacting you in all sorts of ways, but… I do mean well…Hope to hear from you soon, Danielle x. Vermaas’s overtures continued, accelerating in November 2009 when Chaplin began a relationship with Fine. When he speaks about her, it’s easy to see that this was a woman who clearly meant something in Chaplin’s life. “We had our first date on 17 November. Lauren is beautiful and intelligent.” About a week after this first date, Vermaas arrived at a bar where Chaplin was having a drink with friends, and tried to speak to him. “She followed me home and insisted we talk. She asked me whether I was going out with Lauren Fine and then said she knew I was. She knew Lauren was Jewish and told me her father was Solomon Fine. I didn’t know what she was talking about. It turns out that Solomon Fine was Lauren’s grandfather. How Danielle came by this information, I don’t know. Danielle also made some derogatory remarks about Lauren being Jewish. It took quite an effort to get rid of Danielle that evening. I had to repeatedly ask her to leave.” “She started crying, and told me she loved me, saying she was going to leave the country as there was nothing left for her here. She continued to slag off Lauren, using anti-Semitic comments.” The next day, a somewhat freaked-out Chaplin removed Vermaas as a friend on Facebook. On 30 November, Vermaas writes: Hey Col, I am sorry for the things I said about your new girlfriend the other night. I just think you need to know that this girl is not for you. This relationship will not last. She is a Jew and they will not accept you. They are not like us. Lauren Fine, sy klink soos ’n Jood. I am telling you this because you need to know. Danielle. The next day Chaplin responds: You need to leave me alone and stop saying bad things about my girlfriend – she has done nothing to you. After their showdown in November, Vermaas slowed down contact with Chaplin for a while, but a month or two later, she started sending more emails and Facebook messages. “The tone was friendly – she claimed she wanted to be friends. She sent me a Facebook friend request [again], which I accepted. During December 2009 and January 2010, she made contact again. I did not respond as I was really in love with Lauren and did not think much about Danielle. She contacted me a few times in 2010 It all seemed harmless.” For example on 1 January 2010, at 4.28pm, Vermaas writes: Hi Colin, haven’t spoken to you in a while and I thought it well to wish you all the best of luck for 2010…and especially with you starting a new job on Monday…good luck! I know that you will make a great success of it…. Chaplin and Fine dated from November 2009 until the end of June 2010, when they split up. He stresses that it was an amicable parting: that she had wanted “space”. “There were no bad feelings between us. Everything was cool. In fact, she susequently sometimes asked me for my help, which I gave her freely.” When her mother was diagnosed with a serious illness a few weeks later, Colin was among the first she told, and he was there to support her. But this is where it gets really weird, he relates. “In early August 2010, a month-or-so after his relationship with Fine ended, Vermaas started “causing problems again” on Facebook. This included sending friendship requests to female friends on his site. “They would call me, asking who is Danielle Vermaas? Why does she want to be my friend? I sent her an SMS asking her to stop, or I would remove her as a friend from Facebook. I felt she was up to no good.” It gets weirder, he says, because, within a week, Fine suddenly blocked him on Facebook. “I sent her an SMS asking why she had done this, but she did not respond.” Chaplin suspected that, some time between 6 and 12 August, Vermaas used Facebook to establish that Chaplin and Fine were no longer dating, that she then contacted Fine with the intention of causing trouble and driving a final wedge between them. [He would be proved correct – but that only comes later – Ed]. “Whatever Danielle told her, Lauren did not check with me whether what she had been told was true. I was confused and hurt as I couldn’t think of anything I had done wrong to her.” Chaplin, in the meantime, had maintained a friendship with Fine’s mother. “I would occasionally call on her – always by prior appointment – to take some flowers or just for a chat. She is a Mills & Boon addict. I started writing a Mills & Boon-type romance and would take bits of the manuscript to her for proofing; really just to entertain her.” On 27 September 2009 he arranged to visit Fine’s mother and took her some fluffy white slippers and some bath salts. He hadn’t visited in the previous three weeks, prompting her to ask whether he’d been away. “She asked if it was true I’d been dating another girl at the same time I was dating Lauren. She named Danielle Vermaas. I denied it emphatically. I explained that I’d had issues with Danielle before and that I’d always loved Lauren.” Now he knew for certain that Danielle had contacted Lauren. And, within no time he also knew that Lauren had rushed to tell Danielle that he knew. Because, within an hour they’d spoken to each other. Within an hour of his visit to Mrs Fine, Chaplin received a hostile message from Lauren Fine – the first communication he’d had from her since her birthday three weeks earlier: “It’s time to move on now and leave me and my family alone. Please don’t contact me and my family again!” (Later that evening, Lauren Fine SMSed him again: “Hi Colin. I apologise for my earlier SMS. I am really not in a good space. I do, however, think it is best for you to move on.”) Next day, it was Vermaas sending Chaplin and his mother an SMS, asking to meet. (She also got a friend to ring his mother with the same message.) All these messages were ignored. But that was hardly reason to anticipate the shock of what came next. Three days later Chaplin got a call from the manageress at his office: the police had called, looking for him. For an outstanding parking ticket? No, much more serious. In fact, the office manageress told him, the police had warned her that he was to be considered dangerous. They wished to serve a restraining order on him in terms of the Domestic Violence Act. Danielle Vermaas had filed for a protection order (a kinder title for the same thing) against him on the 28 September – the day after Mrs Fine had revealed to him that Vermaas had contacted her daughter and had claimed he’d been double-dating them. “The day before she filed for the order against me, she wanted to meet me. It was the most bizarre thing. When she filed for the restraining order, she told the police that I was to be considered violent. She gave them my work number and my work address. The police then made several phone calls to my office. “My head just spun.” Chaplin runs through the haze of what ensued over the next few days. His employers said they were concerned about how clients would react to the information. “I didn’t make a big deal of it. I just quietly left. What was I going to do? “I then had to present myself at the Cape Town Police Station with my parents to sign for receipt of the order. “I looked at Danielle’s statement and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was all bullshit. The reasons she gave for wanting the restraining order were that I was a dishonest person who did not pay tax to SARS. She then cited an SMS from two months earlier, in which I threatened to remove her as a friend on Facebook if she did not leave me alone.” He continues: “It was insane. There was one other thing: at the bottom of the application, she said the reason she was filing was that she had been advised to do it by my ex-girlfriend, Lauren Fine. I can’t describe how I felt. It made no sense. “So now I have no job, somebody has a restraining order against me for no reason, and I hear that my ex-girlfriend, someone I’ve only ever been kind to, is involved.” Danielle Vermaas’s application for a protection order – Noseweek has obtained a copy – is too long to reproduce here. Some excerpts: A few weeks ago he sent me a sms saying “stop this facebook crap with La. If I find anyone on her site tmrw who is not meant to be there my reaction will be extreme.” … on the 12th August 2010 one sms read (because I did not respond): “Call me in the next 5 mins or I am removing you permanently.” I received a call from Lauren Fine…She is a lawyer…She suggested a restraining order. I am an honest and trustworthy person who does not manipulate people. He is not an honest person as he does not pay taxes to SARS. Please grant a restraining order, because he clearly despises me and I am scared. Based on this affidavit, Magistrate Van der Spuy granted an interim protection order against Chaplin on 29 September. It reads, in part: “The respondent [Chaplin] is ordered not to commit the following acts of domestic violence: verbal, emotional, psychological abuse; not to harass, intimidate the applicant…not to communicate with the applicant at all, except through the courts or legal representatives”. The order had been granted without notice and without Chaplin having been given a hearing – a fact that irks him about the nature of restraining orders and the ease with which they are granted. “It’s bizarre. The man is simply presumed guilty. It’s a case of ‘better safe than sorry’.” Confused, but determined to get to the bottom of things, Chaplin contacted law firm Abrahams and Gross for advice. The attorneys took one look at the affidavit and told Chaplin he had a serious problem. “They said there were no grounds for a restraining order, but that it was essential to get it dismissed as soon as possible. They said that Vermaas could try to deliberately manufacture a breach of the order which would mean I could be arrested and go to jail. “My lawyers filed an opposing affidavit. It was quite simple – address each lie and show that the last contact you had with her was two months before she filed.” Chaplin was able to provide tax records to show that, in fact, he had overpaid tax and had actually received a refund from SARS. Chaplin’s answering affidavit is also in Noseweek’s possession. Excerpts include: “The application is… ill-fated and amounts to a mockery of the true objectives of the Domestic Violence Act…Applicant and I never lived together in a relationship or partnership of any sort. [She] was merely a friend like all the other male and female friends that I have… [If] the scope of the Domestic Violence Act were to extend to an area as in this case…any confrontation in the normal scope of a friendship could be construed as domestic violence, with absurd consequences.” His answering affidavit details how Vermaas sent “friend” requests to Chaplin’s friends on Facebook, which prompted him to tell her, in August 2010, that he was “permanently removing” her as a friend on Facebook. He says, “It is astonishing to note how the Applicant is distorting the true facts by using the phrase to mean that I have committed some sort of Domestic Violence against her”. A lawyer from Abrahams and Gross attended the magistrate’s court, where he served the opposing affidavit on Vermaas. Chaplin’s attorneys said they wanted to move to a court date. That was when Vermaas said that she wanted none other than Lauren Fine to represent her. Chaplin’s attorney reported: “[This} will be a complete disaster simply because Ms Fine will be a witness in the matter and I can see no reason why Ms Fine will want to get involved. Ms Vermaas also indicated that her main concern was that our client [Chaplin] was badmouthing her in and around the Jewish community from which she obtained most of her work.” The next court date was set down, for 3 November last year, which left Chaplin with the interim order hanging over him and the cost of yet another court appearance. On the return date, Vermaas showed up with an attorney – not Fine – and changed her tune once again. “Now she was asking for a restraining order requiring me to stop stalking her.” Chaplin laughs bitterly: “I don’t even know where she lives or works and hadn’t seen her in 11 months. She just wanted me to be found guilty of something”. Chaplin received the following confirmation from family law attorney Bertus Preller on November 3: “I wish to confirm that Ms Vermaas has withdrawn her application. Initially she wanted an apology and an agreement that you won’t stalk her in future, which we naturally refused and we demanded that the matter go to trial, however, her attorney backed off and withdrew the application.” When the attorneys phoned him with the good news that the application had been withdrawn, Chaplin heaved a sigh of relief. “I thought, phew, it’s all gone away.” Chaplin goes on: “So, the application is dismissed, she walks out. At this stage, one side of me is relieved, as the stalker girl is gone, but another part of me feels aggrieved. Firstly, I had incurred unnecessary legal costs – I had stopped counting at R20,000. Secondly, I was furious that an unsubstantiated order had been brought against me by ‘a woman scorned’ who lied to the court, and thirdly, I could not understand why Lauren Fine had become involved. I could not think of a single thing I had done against her. The only thing I was guilty of was doing good things for her and her family. In return, she branded me with the stigma of a domestic violence charge which never goes away. People just think that you go around beating up women.” Two weeks ago, Chaplin asked a woman out. “She had heard this story that I threaten women. Cape Town is a small place.” He can’t imagine having a normal life and a normal relationship. “To be honest, women scare the shit out of me at the moment. I have no plans to date any women for the foreseeable future.” Asked for comment on how on earth Chaplin had an interim protection order slapped against him on the basis of that application, Magistrate Van der Spuy referred Noseweek to Linda Unuvar, Judicial Head of the Family Court in Cape Town. While reluctant to comment on an individual case, Unuvar said: “This is an affidavit. [In Danielle Vermaas’s case, it appears to have been an unsigned statement. – Ed.] If a person takes an oath and says I have been threatened, and claims that someone is calling her at all hours and upsetting her emotionally, that is harassment. If she says under oath that any act of domestic violence is committed, the court must grant an interim protection order. That includes harrassment, intimidation, unwanted calling or SMSing. Even if such harassment is the only complaint, it still warrants an order.” Unuvar said that once the order is served on the respondent, “the respondent can come to court and say, ‘this was served on me and it is not true, I want to bring the return date forward within 24 hours’. We give him the earliest available date. If it is urgent, we will hear it”. Unuvar said there would have been nothing stopping someone in Chaplin’s position from asking for a counter order against his accuser and saying that in fact, he was the one being emotionally abused. “He would have had that right. He should have anticipated the hearing and asked the court for a protection order against her. We would have had a hearing within a few days.” Unuvar stressed that protection orders are not granted if the court is not satisfied that some form of domestic violence has been committed. “If an interim order is granted, and, on the return date, the court is not satisfied, it will not confirm the order.” Abuse of the system is the exception, she added. “We are all trained and experienced magistrates, but we do not know whether somebody is lying under oath.” Vermaas had this to say to Noseweek: “I have spoken to my lawyer and have decided not to comment. I am very busy and am not going to invest any time in this.” And Lauren Fine? She agreed to meet a reporter from Noseweek at a coffee shop near her office, and arrived accompanied by her colleague, Mia Gibson. The answers she gave to Noseweek’s questions do not always tally with the documentary evidence that Noseweek has seen, and were aimed at generally discrediting Chaplin, while minimising the interaction she’d had with Vermaas and her role in the latter’s application for the protection order. The closest Fine had got to giving Chaplin an explanation for her involvement in Vermaas’s application came in a letter she wrote to his mother shortly after the order was granted. Some extracts: “I am sure you can understand the tension it caused when he would visit my mother and she would not tell me that he’d visited. I would hear from Trayer (my mother’s domestic worker) that he had visited and what had been said. I did not make a big deal out of this as I didn’t want to upset my mother and I assumed Colin was visiting with only good intentions. “On 28 September I phoned home only to be told by Trayer that Colin was there again and talking to my mother about me. This upset me, as my mother had mentioned the day before that having visitors was very tiring. …When I came home … my mother confirmed … that Colin had made certain derogatory remarks about Danielle, which I do not believe to be true. “Since I had been advised by Danielle that Colin had threatened her in the past – and I now knew he was aware that she and I had made contact… I did telephone Danielle, and I told her that if Colin were to threaten her with any further legal action, she should contact me to discuss it. “Danielle advised me that she was scared Colin would harm her and she was thinking of taking out a restraining order… I advised her (as I would with anyone) that if she genuinely felt threatened… then she should get a restraining order. She asked me to assist her and I told her that she should ask the police… “I am certain that the contents of this email…will be upsetting to you. I have not forgotten the beautiful things that Colin has done for my family and me, but I have had equally numerous unpleasant experiences involving Colin… “Wishing you and Colin only the best. Lauren.” Now, she told Noseweek that he was “weird”, that friends had told her he was an alcoholic (she confirmed that he had never consumed alcohol or smoked in her presence throughout their relationship in deference to her wishes, but now believed this to be a sign that he was “obsessive”); she said he was a “stalker” since friends had told her they had seen him “lurking” near her office and she believed she had seen him “lurking” downstairs from her Sea Point apartment; that he kept visiting her mother “day and night” just to irritate her [Lauren]; that she had shown his “Mills and Boon” manuscript to a psychologist and a psychiatrist she knew and they had both described it as “abnormal, verging on psychotic”. [She sent us a copy, which I read in lurid anticipation, only to find it pretty harmless, even good, as Mills and Boon novels go. My diagnosis: that psychologist and psychiatrist must be “verging on the psychotic” – Ed.] But, she emphasised, what really upset her were Chaplin’s “endless” lies. [i.e. don’t believe anything he tells you? – Ed.] Did she herself have any reason to believe he might be violent? “Yes.” Why? “When he got angry, he would just get up and leave.” Later Fine would add to the list that a “good friend” had recently told her Chaplin had plans to abduct her. Chaplin’s retort: “What am I supposed to do with her, once I’ve abducted her? It is becoming increasingly clear that in order to justify what she did last year, she has attacked my character by spreading rumours and lies about me. I have now been accused by Lauren of being a liar, capable of irrational behaviour, an alcoholic, a cheating bastard and most recently an abductor. The last is just ludicrous.” And what about Danielle Vermaas? Noseweek asks Fine. “She contacted me on Facebook and we arranged to meet. We compared notes and worked out that Colin had been cross-dating us. She told me Colin had sent her a “weird” sms threatening that if she did not leave me alone, I [Lauren] was going to bring court applications against her. [Vermaas has not produced any evidence to support this allegation. – Ed.] “I told her, if he threatens you like that, rather phone and ask me what the true position is.” Fine explained her involvement in Vermaas’s protection order. “Danielle called me on my cell phone when I was in the car rushing to Rondebosch to attend the HPCSA hearing of Sylvia Ireland’s former psychiatrist, Dr Berrard. She told me that Colin had threatened her – I wasn’t interested how – and that she was really frightened. She asked if she could get a restraining order. I said yes, if you’re scared. She asked if I could help her, but I said no, I don’t practise criminal law and I don’t want to get involved. I wouldn’t know where to start. I suggested she go to the police. It’s the advice I would have given to anyone.” That was it? All on the spur of the moment? “That was it.” Surely the evidence suggests Vermaas had been “stalking” Chaplin, rather than the other way around? “Yes, they’re both weird. I want nothing more to do with either of them.” Hold that thought for a moment. Because this is when the local version of WikiLeaks – an anonymous website hacker of sorts – steps in to really stir things up. Immediately after the restraining order was served on him, Chaplin spent many evenings at his favourite pub mulling over the mysteries of the case with his friends. Somebody obviously knew somebody, because three months after the event, says Chaplin, a parcel of web printouts appeared in his postbox. They were of Facebook messages that Vermaas had sent to various friends in a plot to cause trouble between Chaplin and Fine. It transpires Chaplin was right in suspecting that something fishy was up early in August 2010. The printouts show that on 5 August she sent a note to her friend Rasheda Samuels: “I see you are friends with Miss Fine whahahahaha” and she asks Rasheda: “so tell me – are they still a married couple ?????”. On 9 August she writes to her friend Gustav Louw who has also befriended Fine on Facebook: “My fuck Gustav, I see you are friends with Lauren Fine!!!! This calls for an evening of champagne and snooping on her Facebook site!!!!” The proposed evening of champagne and snooping appears to have paid off. Next day she was writing to Fine: “I would normally not email someone I don’t know, but I had a very strange email from your boyfriend Colin tonight. He seems upset about mutual people we know on Facebook and implies that I have got something to do with this… [Chaplin found she was approaching Facebook friends he had in common with Fine and told her to lay off, or he’d unfriend her. – Ed.] “What you do, your relationship and friends have nothing to do with me. I have no issues with you being his girlfriend now. “I suppose this is as strange for you as it is for me. Good luck! Danielle.” Every line was a lie, but Lauren took the bait. Fine’s reply: “Dear Danielle, Colin is not my boyfriend and has not been for a while. Whilst we were together he did tell me that you wanted him back but I never commented. I would like to meet for a coffee. There is much I would like to discuss.” Danielle’s happy reply: “I should also like to meet up with you for a chat. I am rather shocked now, but we can discuss everything when we meet. Lauren’s reply: “Cool, Friday after work.” That weekend Fine “unfriended” Chaplin on Facebook. Also amongst the “hacker’s” printouts is the anxious message sent by Fine to Vermaas on 27 September: “Need to chat urgently.” Two hours later Vermaas writes: “Thanks for calling me…I would like to discuss with you sometime what the procedure is with regards to getting a restraining order. I think it would be better if I get it, before he does something…I had a bad feeling ever since I met him. Let me know when you will be available to discuss the restraining order, as I am very serious about it. Perhaps it would be in your best interests to get one too!” Fine’s reply: “I have no idea how to get a restraining order, but will find out. Let’s do coffee.” So, not quite the rushed conversation while driving, then. Fine told Noseweek that Chaplin had given lawyer Mia Gordon copies of several of these illicitly obtained Facebook printouts. But, she said, she was not at liberty to show them to us as they were the subject of a police investigation. The police, she added ominously, believe they know the address from which the Facebook interloper operated. Matters get stranger still: between February and May this year, Fine’s Facebook friends started receiving abusive messages about her, all emanating from Vermaas’s Facebook address. A sample: “How’s your stupid Jewish friend now. She’s a loser.” She addressed a lawyer’s letter to Vermaas demanding that she immediately stop sending these messages and threatening court action. Vermaas’s lawyers responded by saying that someone had pirated Vermaas’s Facebook site and that her friends, too, had been receiving abusive messages. And that she had already reported the matter to the police. So who’s up to no good now? And who’s trying to mislead whom? 

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LOL, I was talking with my 40 year old Son last week about the abuse of restraining orders and orders of protection, and he said "Dad, ...