I found your blog last July after my (now ex) girlfriend set up a scenario where she attempted to make me look abusive in public…and then had a guy there to run down and threaten to shoot me if I went near her. We had started to go kayaking that day. I love kayaking, but knew better than to get stuck on the water for a whole day with her—especially if she was in a bad mood.
She had owned this kayak for about a year and I blew off her attempts to get me to go until last June. She had gone on this particular route with her roommate two weekends before and either enjoyed it. Or more likely, had scouted the area out to either have the crap beat out of me….or killed. She is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder co-morbidly. I know this because when we first got together she told me in confidence that her ex-husband had it. I realized later thatall the bad traits she projected on to him, were really things she hated about herself.
We headed downriver and made it about 1000 yards, when I suggested that I call strokes so we didn’t paddle against each other. She replied, “that’s the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.” And right then,I knew that this day was going to be mierable. So I told her I was it was over, that I loved kayaking but hated her and would no longer tolerate her abuse.
I paddled both of us back to the boat ramp where she proceeded to pull my life jacket and knock me off balance and onto her Then she screamed, “Go ahead! Do it! I date you!!!” I laguhed at her theatrics and replied “Do what” and then walked away to begin putting the kayak up on the shore. She drove that day, so after insulting me, berating me and throwing every possible invective at me she could muster up to no avail….she gave up on her plan and went to get the car.
It was here that she either saw a man in the parking lot who had not seen what happened and told him I was abusing her…or he was a friend and already knew what he was supposed to do. 15 minutes after she had pulled me on top of her, he came running down swearing at me and telling me he would kill me. He said he was a police officer. I laughed at that suggestion because he looked like a dirty, sketchy meth addict. I grabbed an or and put the sharp end to his neck and held him back. She said nothing to stop the insanity or dissuade him from trying to hurt me. Instead she continued insulting me and trying to provoke me into doing something stupid.
They were unsuccessful and I had begun rolling video on my iPhone to document the situation (thank god). I have never been inclined to abuse my girlfriends ….ever. I was pissed. But not so pissed to realize that I was being set up. After the scene in the water,, I had the presence of mind to start recording video. Unfortunately,I had just turned it off when the guy came running at me and had to pick up a boat oar to fend him off.
My ex-girlfriend ended up looked kinda stupid. And being NPD/BPD, looking like an idiot is something she cannot let go of. So she began to punish me. Of course I didn’t realize this was happening until I called her because my Social Security NUmber had been used fraudulently, strangely in 5 or so cities that she happened to have lived in in the past. I threatened to call the police in a voice mail. And not surprisingly, thenext day the sherriff of her county called me and told me she had filed for a restraining order.
The judge dismissed it. Burt not before I realized that my lawyer was doing her best to throw the proceeding in my ex’s fabor. The town that the ex lives in is small. The lawyer livers there so I had reservations and asked my lawyer if she knew my ex. She was greatly offended and informed me that would be a conflict of interest. Turns out my lawyer was the friend of my ex that I had never met in person.
She promised that she would try to dissuade my ex from taking it to court, but kept asking for all my evidence that would smear my ex to use as ammunition. It never happened. I sent her a few things but nothing that would prove that my ex was an amateur porn “star” or a prostitute or a meth addict. I didn’t feel those things were appropriate and I also didn’t want my ex to know all of the dirt I had found by running a background check.
My lawyer tried to torpedo me in court. But she failed and the case was dismissed. I left the courthouse after she made sure I was out the door so she could talk to my ex and her new boyfriend. I called the bar association in a nearby parking lot and then returned to get some things I had left in the building. I thought they would be gone, but as I pulled into the parking lot, she was in her van and her new boyfriend was walking to his car. I turned around and pulled up to her minivan and told her to enjoy my retainer and that she wasn’t worth a penny of the money.
Now I’ve been given a restraining order and face a new case which has switched form civil to criminal court. No proof has been offered to date as to either the email or the voicemail they are using as evidence. Only her word. And even with those two pieces of evidence, I have not made a single threat to harm her. I only threatened to call the poiice about a crime she had commited with my social security card. I had to take an unplanned leave of absence from work and get some help with my anxiety. She has done her best to drive a wedge between me and my family….and she directed another friend of hers with Borderline Personality Disorder to get in a relationship with my best friend and to keep him from spending any time with me. I think the goal is to isolate me and smear my name so I will lose and be discredited before I can get the FBI and local police to investigate her crimes. So far it is working.
My ex has used hundreds of aliases. Not sure which she used in your area. She has lived all over california, Florida, New York, Nebraska, Kansas and Las Vegas. I even found evidence she has taken her shit-show as far as Sydney, Austraila. Supposedly she was sexually abused by nearly every man that she ever so much as looked at. Namely…her stepdad supposedly mollested her for years. Recently i believe that I have discovered that she ended up marrying him (or at least lived with and had kids with him.)
Sorry to dump all this on you. You have dealt with enough. But I had to check this box before I went to trial in hopes of a hail Mary. We’ll see what happens.
